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Scientific research should be the responsibility of the governments rather then commerical organizations. Do you agree or with this statement. v.1

Scientific research should be the responsibility of the governments rather then commerical organizations. v. 1
Research and development play a central role in the country's success. Scientific experiments must be conducted by government agencies instead of private institutions. I absolutely agree with the given statement and the reasons for this will be elaborated in the enlisted paragraphs. From my practical point of view, first and foremost reasons for this authorities have a financial assistance for research. This is because they have adequate fund source from taxes, which contributes in country's betterment. Moreover, there is particular proportion of budget use for scientific researches that help researchers to have proper resources and equipments for it. According to the World Reserve Bank reveals that more than 43% of funding of U. S. A is utilised for research and development department which support them to strengthen their nation. Secondly, the process of research becomes easier and smoother for the authorities. In other words, public agencies get research permission easily in comparison to private organisations, which makes process faster. Besides this, government are able to provide all information to their citizens. Thus, financial aid is available for the research and at the same the transparency is maintain between people and bureaucrats. Finally, it is necessary for public welfare. To explain in detail, experiments must be carried out for the people, which helps them to improve the standard of living. With the new innovations life becomes easier and convenient for mankind and progress for country. For instance, the polio vaccination was invented by Indian government, which reduced the number of polio patient; this results into reduce the number of deaths and that improves they medical facilities for people. Hence, the duty of government is to protect their citizens. In conclusion, it is solely responsibility of the government to do research for the advancement of the nation and I am in favor of this policy owing funding is manageable and for the betterment of the communities for the sustainable future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Research
and development play a central role in the country's success. Scientific experiments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be conducted
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
agencies
instead
of private institutions. I
absolutely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement and the reasons for this will
be elaborated
in the enlisted paragraphs.

From my practical point of view,
first
and foremost reasons for
Did you mean "these"?
this
authorities have a financial assistance for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have adequate fund source from taxes, which contributes in country's betterment.
Moreover
, there is particular proportion of budget
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researches
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
researchers to have proper resources and equipments for it. According to the World Reserve Bank reveals that more than 43% of funding of U. S. A is
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
and development department which support them to strengthen their nation.
Secondly
, the process of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
becomes easier and smoother for the authorities.
In other words
, public agencies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
permission
easily
in comparison
to private
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
process faster.
Besides
this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
are able to provide all information to their citizens.
Thus
, financial aid is available for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
and at the same the transparency is
Consider using a past participle here: "maintained".
maintain
between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and bureaucrats.

Finally
, it is necessary for public welfare. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in detail, experiments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be carried
out for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the standard of living. With the new
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "innovations'" or "innovation's"?
innovations
life becomes easier and convenient for mankind and progress for country.
For instance
, the polio vaccination
was invented
by Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the number of polio patient; this results into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of deaths and that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
they medical facilities for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Hence
, the duty of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is to protect their citizens.

In conclusion
, it is
solely
responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
for the advancement of the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
nation and
I am in favor of this policy owing funding is manageable and for the betterment of the communities for the sustainable future.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Scientific research should be the responsibility of the governments rather then commerical organizations. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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