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Scientific research should be the responsibility of governments rather than commercial organizations Do you agree or disagree with this statement v.1

Scientific research should be the responsibility of governments rather than commercial organizations v. 1
Nowadays, as the booming of meat generation which leads to the reduction in land in comparison with that of the crop makes a lot of people assume that livestock expenditure should be lessened. In this essay, I will provide some suggestions for reducing meat consumption on a daily basis together with several issues that we may have to tackle due to these solutions. On the one hand, it is irrefutable that there are a number of/several measures which can be taken to solve the redundancy in meat use. Due to the increasing trend of being vegetarians, the government can organize some campaigns to encourage its citizens to consume more veggies and fruits. As a result, people can benefit greatly from these alternative sources of food. For example, such as they can keep their bodies in shape or enjoying greater lifespan than our ancestors. Moreover, with the development of biotechnology, scientists can now have greater access to fancy appliances to exploit molecules in order to invent more new mixed types of food. For instance, a group of science members at a university in Finland has already created a type of eggs, which are made solely in vegetables such as cucumbers. Such innovative inventions can lead to a new era of vegetable utilization among people. On the other hand, these measures can have a double-edged impact on people’s health conditions and eating habits. First, our body needs certain necessary daily nutrients, these include of both proteins generated from meat and vitamins absorbed from vegetables. If we do not take enough of these components, our brain as well as our body cannot function as efficiently as when we get an adequate amount of nutrition from various kinds of food sources. Second, although technology has remarkably contributed to our diversity in food choices, it takes many years for a person’s taste to adapt to a new kind of food and. Furthermore, it may require a lot of investments, also some marketing techniques to convey people to choose veggie-eggs instead of an egg laid by a hen. To sum up, such developments in lessening worldly meat consumption, although may cause some problems at some points, can put a step forward for the society at large in the modern green life.
Nowadays, as the booming of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
generation which leads to the reduction in land
in comparison
with that of the crop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assume that livestock expenditure should
be lessened
. In this essay, I will provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
suggestions for reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
consumption on a daily basis together with several issues that we may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
tackle due to these solutions.

On the one hand, it is irrefutable that there are a number of/several measures which can
be taken
to solve the redundancy in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. Due to the increasing trend of being vegetarians, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can organize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
campaigns to encourage its citizens to consume more veggies and fruits.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can benefit
greatly
from these alternative sources of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
For example
, such as they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their bodies in shape or enjoying greater lifespan than our ancestors.
Moreover
, with the development of biotechnology, scientists can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have greater access to fancy appliances to exploit molecules in order to invent more new mixed types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
For instance
, a group of science members at a university in Finland has already created a type of eggs, which
are made
solely
in vegetables such as cucumbers. Such innovative inventions can lead to a new era of vegetable utilization among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the other hand
, these measures can have a double-edged impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health conditions and eating habits.
First
, our body needs certain necessary daily nutrients, these include of both proteins generated from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
and vitamins absorbed from vegetables. If we do not take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
of these components, our brain
as well
as our body cannot function as
efficiently
as when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an adequate amount of nutrition from various kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
sources. Second, although technology has
remarkably
contributed to our diversity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
choices, it takes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years for a person’s taste to adapt to a new kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and.
Furthermore
, it may require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
investments,
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
marketing techniques to convey
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to choose veggie-eggs
instead
of an egg laid by a hen.

To sum up, such developments in lessening worldly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
consumption, although may cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
points, can put a step forward for the society at large in the modern green life.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Scientific research should be the responsibility of governments rather than commercial organizations v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
375 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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