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In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution? v.5

In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution? v. 5
Traffic is always a pressing problem of the countries in every age. Some governments was lodged a method to solve this problem, which is increasing money for tax on car drivers and use this to improve public transport. However, this solution has some advantages and disadvantages. The first advantages of this solution are an among of cars on the streets would decrease. Because money they have to pay very expensive, when they drive the owners car, they have to pay tolls, tax, petrol or diesel. . . So, traffic problem and pollution would be reduced. Next, when people do not drive owners car and public transportation more and more improve, they would go with it everywhere. Because, it is very cheap and environmentally friendly. And when public transport achieves convenient enough for people go, they would travel with it. But, this method exists some disadvantages. Such as, at first time, when public transport improves no more and tax heavy surpass ability, they have to try with it to go to work and they could be late or walk very far. And, the amount of money, which government earns by tax, toll. . . Would less than before because people do not buy a car, then the company do not produce to sell, so money earns less. In conclusion, to use method to solve the traffic problem is possible, but we need much time, and in that time, some disadvantages is always parallel with advantages.
Traffic is always a pressing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of the countries in every age.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
You should probably use: "were".
was
lodged a method to solve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, which is increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
drivers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport.
However
, this solution has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages and disadvantages.

The
first
advantages of this solution are an among of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
on the streets would decrease.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive, when they drive the
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "owners'" or "owner's"?
owners
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay tolls,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
, petrol or diesel.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, traffic
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problem
and pollution would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.
Next
, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not drive owners
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
, they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
it everywhere.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and
environmentally
friendly. And when
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public
transport achieves convenient
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
go, they would travel with it.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, this method exists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages. Such as, at
first
time, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
no more and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
heavy surpass ability, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
try with it to go to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
work and
they could be late or walk
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
far. And, the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
earns by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
, toll.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Would less than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
, then the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
do not produce to sell,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
earns less.

In conclusion
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
method to solve the traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is possible,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we need much time, and in that time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages is always parallel with advantages.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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