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Scientific and technological advances bring benefits to our life. However, most scientists are no longer able to find the solutions to the problems they have created. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Scientific and technological advances bring benefits to our life. However, most scientists are no longer able to find the solutions to the problems they have created. v. 1
It is obvious that scientists are the people who have improved our lives tremendously. However, there are more and more representatives of this profession who think that their invents have brought humanity more hazards than benefits. Although it is true that some scientific processes are very dangerous for our planet, we still need to raise the young professionals who will find some solutions to existing problems and keep working on improving the quality of our lives. Scientific works are exposed in almost every field of our life. Thus, scientists have made a huge impact on the development of new technologies, invention of television, phone, internet, train, aircraft and the ship building, outer space experiments, physical, chemical and medical progress. At the same time, they are responsible for the creation of different kinds of dangerous weapons, air and water pollution, the enormous amount of wastes, etc. It is no surprising that some of the scientists are very disappointed by their own actions and feel stressed that their inventions are dangerous for our society. However, no matter what, we need to stay optimists, keep raising new professionals who will work on resolving all the problems the world is facing with. Without scientists, we cannot improve in any field of life, so we need to cherish and encourage each person who can contribute to our future. In conclusion, I would like to emphasize that often every action has been both beneficial and disadvantageous at the same time, but it doesn’t mean we need to stop all activities. Maybe scientists need to weigh the situation more carefully, however they do need to continue to work and improve our world.
It is obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
tremendously
.
However
, there are more and more representatives of this profession
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that their
The word 'invents' is a verb. Did you mean the noun "inventions"?
invents
have brought humanity more hazards than benefits. Although it is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
scientific processes are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for our planet, we
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to raise the young professionals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
will find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions to existing problems and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
working on improving the quality of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Scientific works
are exposed
in almost every field of our life.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
have made a huge impact on the development of new technologies, invention of television, phone, internet, train, aircraft and the ship building, outer space experiments, physical, chemical and medical progress. At the same time, they are responsible for the creation of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
weapons, air and water pollution, the enormous amount of wastes, etc. It is
Did you mean "not" or "now"?
no
surprising that
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
disappointed by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
actions and feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
that their inventions are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for our society.
However
, no matter what, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to stay optimists,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
raising new professionals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
will work on resolving all the problems the world is facing with. Without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
, we cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
in any field of life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to cherish and encourage each person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can contribute to our future.

In conclusion
, I would like to emphasize that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
every action has been both beneficial and disadvantageous at the same time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it doesn’t mean we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
all activities. Maybe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to weigh the situation more
carefully
,
however
they do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to continue to work and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our world.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Scientific and technological advances bring benefits to our life. However, most scientists are no longer able to find the solutions to the problems they have created. v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
275 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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