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Everyone should adopt a vegetarian diet because eating meat can cause serious health problems. Do you agree or disagree? v.3

Everyone should adopt a vegetarian diet because eating meat can cause serious health problems. v. 3
To have a healthy- balanced lifestyle, people should start eating fruits and vegetables more often since it has many nutrients which can fulfil the body. Although consuming meat on a small scale is needed in one's body. I believe everyone should adopt the idea of converting their diet to a vegetarian diet. Being a vegetarian can benefit a person in many different ways. Firstly, fruits and vegetables are cheap and easily accessed to. They can be found everywhere. Secondly, they maintain many natural vitamins and nutrients. They provide us with fibre, which holds a significant role in the human body. It protects us from any dangerous diseases. Thirdly, being vegetarian can also help in protecting the animals' environments. By being vegetarian, we can stop hunting animals for their meat. This will decrease the amount of animals being endangered. However, consuming meat in a small quantity is necessary in order to have a balanced diet. Meat contains proteins, and other vitamins that can be more beneficial in meats than in vegetables and fruits. Although one should take precautions on the amount of meat intaken. Eating a lot of meat can lead to many dangerous diseases like cholesterol and cardiovascular diseases. In addition, one should be anxious about the meat they eat whether it's contaminated or not, which can bring up viruses, bacterias and more. In conclusion, a healthy diet is always the best choice which will help maintain a long living life. It may take a while to convert to a vegetarian diet but the advantages of it outweigh its disadvantages. Indeed, Adopting a vegetarian diet is more beneficial to everyone.
To have a healthy- balanced lifestyle,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
eating fruits and vegetables more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
since it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nutrients which can fulfil the body.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
on a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
scale
is needed
in one's body. I believe everyone should adopt the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of converting their diet to a vegetarian diet.

Being a vegetarian can benefit a person in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways.
Firstly
, fruits and vegetables are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and
easily
accessed to. They can
be found
everywhere.
Secondly
, they maintain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
natural vitamins and nutrients. They provide us with
Possible spelling mistake. 'fibre' is British English.
fibre
, which holds a significant role in the human body. It protects us from any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
diseases.
Thirdly
, being vegetarian can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in protecting the animals' environments. By being vegetarian, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
hunting animals for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
. This will decrease the amount of animals
being endangered
.

However
, consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
quantity is necessary in order to have a balanced diet.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Meat
contains proteins, and other vitamins that can be more beneficial in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meats
than in vegetables and fruits.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
one should take precautions on the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
Possible spelling mistake found.
intaken
. Eating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
can lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
diseases like cholesterol and cardiovascular diseases.
In addition
, one should be anxious about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
they eat whether it's contaminated or not, which can bring up viruses,
Possible spelling mistake found.
bacterias
and more.

In conclusion
, a healthy diet is always the best choice which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
maintain a long living life. It may take a while to convert to a vegetarian diet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the advantages of it outweigh its disadvantages.
Indeed
, Adopting a vegetarian diet is more beneficial to everyone.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Everyone should adopt a vegetarian diet because eating meat can cause serious health problems. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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