Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Science gives people life expectancy of close to one hundred years or even more. Some people view it in a positive light, but others believe it creates some problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

Science gives people life expectancy of close to one hundred years or even more. Some people view it in a positive light, but others believe it creates some problems. v. 2
Technology has increased the life period of human beings. The advancement of science has led to increase in the mortality of people around the world. some of us still think that living a longer life is endanger the life of others. To begin with, Innovation in the filed of medicine has made human being stronger and healthier so that humans can live longer. In the early era, people used to eat healthy foods and lived a happy and long life. the advances in medication has found the solutions to all type of old age ailments and are trying to make a disease-free gene at the beginning age itself so that it can lead a healthy life without any hereditary diseases. There is saying that the old ones are wiser than the younger ones. Wisdom is learnt over time and by undergoing various tests of life. Secondly, there are other sections of the community who think that dying early is far better than living at old age with ailments. The present generation likes to live as much as they can in their childhood and adulthood and die as soon as they reach old age. The newer section of people think that aged persons are a burden to the family or the to the community. They are fast learners and like to learn as much as they can from others and from the internet instead of learning from the elders. Life span of an human is considered as an advantage if it is useful to others and not an upper hand if others think as a burden. so In my opinion I would consider that life expectancy should be more so that they transfer their wisdom to the younger generation.
Technology has increased the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings. The advancement of science has led to increase in the mortality of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the world.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
of us
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that living a longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
Consider using a past participle here: "endangered".
endanger
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of others.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, Innovation in the filed of medicine has made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
being stronger and healthier
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
longer. In the early era,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to eat healthy foods and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
a happy and long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
advances in medication
You should probably use "have", "haven".
has
found the solutions to all type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
ailments and are trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a disease-free gene at the beginning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
itself
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it can lead a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
without any hereditary diseases. There is saying that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
ones are wiser than the younger ones. Wisdom is
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
over time and by undergoing various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
of life.

Secondly
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sections of the community who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that dying early is far better than living at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
with ailments. The present generation likes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
as much as they can in their childhood and adulthood and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as they reach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. The newer section of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that aged persons are a burden to the family or the to the community. They are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
learners and like to learn as much as they can from others and from the internet
instead
of learning from the elders.

Life span of
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
is considered
as an advantage if it is useful to others and not an upper hand if others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
as a burden.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
In my opinion I would consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy should be more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they transfer their wisdom to the younger generation.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Science gives people life expectancy of close to one hundred years or even more. Some people view it in a positive light, but others believe it creates some problems. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts