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Computers are becoming an essential part of education. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion v.7

Computers are becoming an essential part of education. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion v. 7
It is irrefutable that computers have become the backbone of education in many nations these days due to various advantages. However, it is argued that such a device has also numerous drawbacks. This essay aims to explore the positive and negative impacts on students’ learning curve in further detail and before coming to a conclusion. To begin with, it is widely believed that computer has offered lots of enhancements in the education field. First of all, it provides easy access for different subjects which is needed for most of the pupils during their studies. For instance, most of the researches and assignments are conducted by computers as it helps students to find the required information effortlessly and in a very short time by only using some of the engine search websites such as Google, they will obtain a tremendous number of data about their homework. Secondly, it is often pointed out that students particularly in the primary schools should be adapted with the new innovation era which mainly depends on computers. To illustrate, there is no doubt that computer skills needed by most of the jobs, universities, and others fields in order to perform their tasks. Therefore, it is exceedingly significant to make students more familiar with such a device for their future. On the flip side, it should not be forgotten that computers like anything has also a black side. Firstly, It is generally agreed that a computer might be a major source of distraction. To elaborate, many students unfortunately might use some of the social media websites such as Facebook, Twitter, and more while they are studying which leads to losing their concentration. Moreover, it is widely known that computers need to be connected with good internet to provide it’s benefits, so, with poor connections it will never help students in their tasks. To sum up, although computers work only by good connection signals, I wholeheartedly believe that the internet exists in most of the places nowadays. Furthermore, computers help many researchers to perform their works as it provides easy access to most of the scientific websites.
It is irrefutable that computers have become the backbone of education in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations these days due to various advantages.
However
, it
is argued
that such a device has
also
numerous drawbacks. This essay aims to explore the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
learning curve in
further
detail and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
coming to a conclusion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is
widely
believed that computer has offered lots of enhancements in the education field.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it provides easy access for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
subjects which
is needed
for most of the pupils during their studies.
For instance
, most of the researches and assignments
are conducted
by computers as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to find the required information
effortlessly
and in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
short time by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
using
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
engine search websites such as Google, they will obtain a tremendous number of data about their homework.
Secondly
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
pointed out that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
particularly
in the primary schools should
be adapted
with the new innovation era which
mainly
depends on computers. To illustrate, there is no doubt that computer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
needed by most of the jobs, universities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
fields in order to perform their tasks.
Therefore
, it is
exceedingly
significant to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
more familiar with such a device for their future.

On the flip side, it should not
be forgotten
that computers like anything has
also
a black side.
Firstly
, It is
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that a computer might be a major source of distraction. To elaborate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
unfortunately might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
social media websites such as Facebook, Twitter, and more while they are studying which leads to losing their concentration.
Moreover
, it is
widely
known that computers need to
be connected
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
internet
Did you mean "to provide its benefits"?
to provide it’s benefits
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, with poor connections it will never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in their tasks.

To sum up, although computers work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
connection signals, I
wholeheartedly
believe that the internet exists in most of the places nowadays.
Furthermore
, computers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
researchers to perform their works as it provides easy access to most of the scientific websites.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Computers are becoming an essential part of education. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
349 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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