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Science could help people live up to 100 or 200 years. Would it be a good or bad development? Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Science could help people live up to 100 or 200 years. Would it be a good or bad development? v. 2
average life expectancy is reducing by day. However, it is believed that application of science knowledge, such as DNA modification, could prolong lives. I am of the opinion that living longer will be dangerous; except good health is ensured. To start with, increasing human existence to two centuries has lots of benefits. Firstly, people can have enough time to achieve their aims and goals. As it is now, most people feel that life is too short, so if they have the opportunities of more years alive, they will be able to fulfill their dreams. For instance, one could have up to ten different doctorate degrees as they wish, if they live long enough. In addition, having more time will ensure people can enjoy their life achievements. it is not uncommon for workers to die immediately after their retirement, which means that enjoying their benefits for s not possible. this will not be an issue if they have over 100 years to live. Conversely, doubling life expectancy could also be a negative development. because of the challenges of life, some people, who have had really difficult circumstances, will want it all to end at an average time. Evidently, economic recession has raised suicide rates in Nigeria. this means that living for more decades will only extend their suffering. also, with old age comes several health problems, which include hypertension and diabetes. so extending lives will increase risks of such diseases. Concluding, although science could help add more years to people' s lives in order to have more time to meet up with their plans, and enjoy what they have acquired; I believe it will be a dangerous trend because it can mean more suffering for people with bad situations, as well as increase risks for illnesses associated with old age.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy is reducing by day.
However
, it
is believed
that application of science knowledge, such as DNA modification, could prolong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. I am of the opinion that living longer will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
; except
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health
is ensured
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, increasing human existence to two centuries has lots of benefits.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to achieve their aims and goals. As it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is too short,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if they have the opportunities of more years alive, they will be able to fulfill their dreams.
For instance
, one could have up to ten
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
doctorate degrees as they wish, if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
long
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.
In addition
, having more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
will ensure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
achievements.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is not uncommon for workers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
immediately after their retirement, which means that enjoying their benefits for s not possible.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
will not be an issue if they have over 100 years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.

Conversely
, doubling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy could
also
be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
because
of the challenges of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who have had
really
difficult circumstances, will want it all to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
at an average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Evidently
, economic recession has raised suicide rates in Nigeria.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
means that living for more decades will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
extend their suffering.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
also
, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
several health problems, which include hypertension and diabetes.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
extending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
will increase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of such diseases.

Concluding, although science could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
more years to
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
in order to have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
up with their plans, and enjoy what they have acquired; I believe it will be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
trend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can mean more suffering for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
situations,
as well
as increase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
for illnesses associated with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Science could help people live up to 100 or 200 years. Would it be a good or bad development? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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