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Describe someone in your family who you like. You should say: How this person is related to youWhat this person looks likeWhat kind of person he/she isand explain why you like this person v.6

Describe someone in your family who you like. You should say: How this person is related to youWhat this person looks likeWhat kind of person he/she isand explain why you like this person v. 6
The person in my family I really like and love is my son. He is a very special kid and I cannot imagine what I would be without him. His nickname is Bumblebee and he is 5 years old. Physically, my son is chubby and cute. He is only about 120 centimeter tall, and weighs about 27 kilograms. He has thick, black hair and a fair complexion. In addition, he has the sunshine smile. One thing people often notice is that my son always takes pride in his appearance. He often says that he is a handsome boy, and believes in that everyone loves him. Intellectually, my son loves learning, particularly English. He likes to watch the English teaching programs and cartoons on TV, then he imitates the characters in programs or cartoons to talk or write the new words. He is so intelligent, study quickly and has a good memory. My son is so proactive, like to talk to the others and he has plenty of questions to ask me and his daddy. He is keen on dancing and loves the song “Oh ma ma” of BTS, one of the famous Korean bands. He wants to wear the same style with them and dance this song, he copies every actions and movement of BTS when he listens to this song. To be honest, it is difficult for me to explain why I love him so much. Simply, because he is my son and due to the maternal love. I carried him 9 months during the pregnancy period and have taken care of him little by little from his infant phase up to now, see how he grows up daily, so I love all of him.
The person in my family I
really
like and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
is my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
son
. He is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
special kid and I cannot imagine what I would be without him.

His nickname is Bumblebee and he is 5 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
Physically
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
son
is chubby and cute. He is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about 120 centimeter tall, and weighs about 27 kilograms. He has thick, black hair and a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
complexion.
In addition
, he has the sunshine smile. One thing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
notice is that my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
son
always takes pride in his appearance. He
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
says that he is a handsome boy, and believes in that everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loves
him.

Intellectually
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
son
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loves
learning,
particularly
English. He likes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the English teaching programs and cartoons on TV, then he imitates the characters in programs or cartoons to talk or write the new words. He is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
intelligent, study
quickly
and has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
memory.

My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
son
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
proactive, like to talk to the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
others and
he has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of questions to ask me and his
In some contexts, this is childish language. Consider alternatives.
daddy
. He is keen on dancing and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loves
the song “Oh
In some contexts, this is childish language. Consider alternatives.
ma ma
” of BTS, one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Korean bands. He wants to wear the same style with them and dance this song, he copies every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "action"?
actions
and movement of BTS when he listens to this song.

To be honest, it is difficult for me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much.
Simply
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he is my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
son
and due to the maternal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
. I carried him 9 months during the pregnancy period and have taken care of him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
from his infant phase up to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how he grows up daily,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
all of him.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
One who speaks only one language is one person, but one who speaks two languages is two people.
Turkish proverb

IELTS essay Describe someone in your family who you like. You should say: How this person is related to youWhat this person looks likeWhat kind of person he/she isand explain why you like this person v. 6

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
286 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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