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Science can increase people's lifespan for up to 100 years. There are projections that science may further increase the lifespan to 200 years. Is this a good or a bad thing? Discuss both the view and give your opinion. v.1

Science can increase people's lifespan for up to 100 years. There are projections that science may further increase the lifespan to 200 years. Is this a good or a bad thing? v. 1
With the advancements in science and technology, many impossible things are now becoming practical and one of them is a longer lifespan. It is believed that the lifespan of an average human can be extended up to 200 years. As every invention have both sides, this idea has both sides too, which are elaborated in ascending paragraph with a logical conclusion at the end. The main advancement from this development is that people can live a longer and healthier life and from that, they can work some extra years and can spend more time with family as compared to normal life span. Moreover, Scientists and other knowledgeable persons who have a piece of immense knowledge regarding specific fields can share their knowledge a bit longer with students who are under their tutelage. This approach can be beneficial to the students who want to study under experts. The aftermaths of living up to 200 years are not negligible. The first thing that humankind will face is the over-population since, with the longer life span, the mortality rate will decrease. This event will lead to an increasing need for resources which will lead to a high amount of pollution. Besides, Huge numbers of humans can imbalance the natural eco-system which will create chaos in the earth and that will eventually lead the earth to the path of destruction. To wrap up, there are numerous benefits of living a long life on a personal basis but the repercussions of it are more dangerous to society. So I think it is a good thing that we live with a normal lifespan.
With the advancements in science and technology,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
impossible things are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
becoming practical and one of them is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
lifespan. It
is believed
that the lifespan of an average human can
be extended
up to 200 years. As every invention have both sides, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
has both sides too, which
are elaborated
in ascending paragraph with a logical conclusion at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

The main advancement from this development is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
and healthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and from that, they can work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra years and can spend more time with family as compared to normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
span.
Moreover
, Scientists and other knowledgeable persons who have a piece of immense knowledge regarding specific fields can share their knowledge a bit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
with students who are under their tutelage. This approach can be beneficial to the students who want to study under experts.

The aftermaths of living up to 200 years are not negligible. The
first
thing that humankind will face is the over-population since, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
span, the mortality rate will decrease. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
will lead to an increasing need for resources which will lead to a high amount of pollution.
Besides
, Huge numbers of humans can imbalance the natural
Possible spelling mistake found.
eco-system
which will create chaos in the earth and that will
eventually
lead the earth to the path of destruction.

To wrap up, there are numerous benefits of living a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
on a personal basis
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the repercussions of it are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with a normal lifespan.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Science can increase people's lifespan for up to 100 years. There are projections that science may further increase the lifespan to 200 years. Is this a good or a bad thing? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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