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People. nowadays work hard to buy more things. This has made our life generally more comfortable but it is a pity many traditional values have been lost on the way to such materialism. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement? v.1

People. nowadays work hard to buy more things. This has made our life generally more comfortable but it is a pity many traditional values have been lost on the way to such materialism. with the statement? v. 1
It is certainly true that today's lifestyle has become more materialistic than ever. Our needs have been rising by the day. However, to say that we have been losing our culture and traditions in a rush to earn more and to buy more is a conservative statement to make. The basis behind the argument that we are killing our roots on the way to materialism is that a lot of people do not wish to change with time. Culture and traditions have a strong identity but they are like a flowing river, every minute the same and yet different. With open markets and massive industrializations both the buying power of and the options for the people have increased. Thus, they wish to make life more comfortable for themselves and their family and this does not mean that that they do not respect tradition any longer. Moreover, the act of buying or possessing does not directly kill our values but there is a deeper disease called instant gratification where people want to do less and get more results. In general there is seen an attitude of irresponsibility which makes people selfish and manipulative in today's stressful working conditions. It is possible that the pursuit to buy more results in wasteful expenditure and incidents of people dealing with their insecurity by going shopping. This extreme consumerism needs to be certainly checked. Finally, I believe that we are not losing our culture and tradition but the way of executing them has transformed in our times. Living a good, well provided life rather helps us take pride in our cultural history and celebrate it by way of rituals, festivals and day to day behaviour.
It is
certainly
true that
today
's lifestyle has become more materialistic than ever. Our needs have been rising by the day.
However
, to say that we have been losing our culture and
traditions
in a rush to earn more and to
buy
more is a conservative statement to
make
.

The basis behind the argument that we are killing our roots on the way to materialism is that
a lot of
people
do not wish to
change
with time. Culture and
traditions
have a strong identity
but
they are like a flowing river, every minute the same and
yet
different
. With open markets and massive
industrializations
both the buying power of and the options for the
people
have increased.
Thus
, they wish to
make
life more comfortable for themselves and their family and this does not mean
that that
they do not respect
tradition
any longer.

Moreover
, the act of buying or possessing does not
directly
kill our values
but
there is a deeper disease called instant gratification where
people
want to do less and
get
more results.
In general
there is
seen
an attitude of irresponsibility which
makes
people
selfish and manipulative in
today
's stressful working conditions. It is possible that the pursuit to
buy
more results in wasteful expenditure and incidents of
people
dealing with their insecurity by going shopping. This extreme consumerism needs to be
certainly
checked
.

Finally
, I believe that we are not losing our culture and
tradition
but
the way of executing them has transformed in our times. Living a
good
, well provided life
rather
helps
us take pride in our cultural history and celebrate it by way of rituals, festivals and day to day
behaviour
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay People. nowadays work hard to buy more things. This has made our life generally more comfortable but it is a pity many traditional values have been lost on the way to such materialism. with the statement? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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