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Science advanced so much that it can now make it possible for people to live 100 years or even 200 years. Some people think it’s a good thing, while others think it is bad. Discuss both these views and write your opinion. v.1

Science advanced so much that it can now make it possible for people to live 100 years or even 200 years. Some people think it’s a good thing, while others think it is bad. v. 1
Science and technology have been developed incessantly in recent years. For that reason, medical science has progressed so much that people can reckon to live approximately 100 years or 200 years. Despite living for many years could bring certain benefits to human beings, some negative effects would also emerge with extended life. From my perspective, I would deny to live longer lives by delving on its untoward repercussions. To begin with, if men survive more than expected years, it will be a great benefit for them. For example, they will see two or three generations who would learn more valuable and precious things from the older generation. Furthermore, this would, invariably, helps young generations to learn moral values and eventually they could build a better future which might succour them to have a prosperous life. Moreover, after getting more life span, people would have more time to fulfil their desired tasks such as becoming a more educated person, earning astronomical amount of money etc. Therefore, having an exceptional life span, people can bring lots of privilege for them. On the other hand, living 100 years or 200 years can also bring disastrous effects to humanity and society. For instance, when a person is living more than 100 years, he/she needs better medical care which is really costly in the long run. As a result, common people are willing to rely on the government’s aid which is unmanageable because of limited revenue. Moreover, if old people would not die, the number of people might increase and this ultimately leads to the unemployment problem. Ergo, society will suffer with myriads of problems, if people get achance to live 100 plus years. In conclusion, I would say that the desire to live a longer life may have advantages, but its demerits are stupendous. That is why, people should not think about living beyond expected years, even though science and technology get advanced.
Science and technology have
been developed
incessantly
in recent years. For that reason, medical science has progressed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can reckon to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
approximately 100 years or 200 years. Despite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years could bring certain benefits to human beings,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects would
also
emerge with extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. From my perspective, I would deny to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
by delving on its untoward repercussions.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
survive more than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
years, it will be a great benefit for them.
For example
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
two or three generations who would learn more valuable and precious things from the older generation.
Furthermore
, this would,
invariably
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
young generations to learn moral values and
eventually
they could build a better future which might
Possible spelling mistake found.
succour
them to have a prosperous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Moreover
, after getting more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
span,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would have more time to fulfil their desired tasks such as becoming a more educated person, earning astronomical amount of money etc.
Therefore
, having an exceptional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
span,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can bring lots of privilege for them.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
100 years or 200 years can
also
bring disastrous effects to humanity and society.
For instance
, when a person is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
more than 100 years, he/she needs better medical care which is
really
costly in the long run.
As a result
, common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are willing to rely on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
’s aid which is unmanageable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of limited revenue.
Moreover
, if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might increase and this
ultimately
leads to the unemployment problem. Ergo, society will suffer with myriads of problems, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
achance
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
100 plus years.

In conclusion
, I would say that the desire to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
a longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
may have advantages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
its demerits are stupendous.
That is
why,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
beyond
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
years,
even though
science and technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
advanced.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Science advanced so much that it can now make it possible for people to live 100 years or even 200 years. Some people think it’s a good thing, while others think it is bad. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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