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There are people who suffer from poverty in every country. What do you think the reasons for poverty are in your country and what do you think can be done to help these impoverished people? v.1

There are people who suffer from poverty in every country. What do you think the reasons for poverty are in your country and what do you think can be done to help these impoverished people? v. 1
There is no clear definition of what a “poor country” is. The common understanding is that a country is poor if the majority of its people do not have a certain minimum living standard. Wikipedia lists a number of more quantitative criteria, ranging from low average income, or a low Gross National Income per capita, to a low Human-Development-Index [44]. This is not to say that material wealth would be the most important or the only factor to optimize. Yet, it constitutes a rough approximation for the well-being of the people. Poverty is usually also not distributed equally in the country: Certain ethnic, religious, or social groups might be particularly advantaged or disadvantaged. As Hans Rosling points out in an informative and entertaining talk about country statistics [130], the population in poor countries is usually affected very unequally by poverty. The common assumption under any definition of “poor country” is that Japan, North America, Australia, New Zealand, Western Europe, and Israel are considered “not poor”. This essay will refer to these countries as “rich”. It will refer to Western Europe, North America, Australia and New Zealand as “the West”. African countries and South-Asian countries are usually considered “poor”. This text, in particular, is inspired by my trips to Senegal, Morocco, South America, and India. Therefore, it mainly focuses on these regions as “poor”. I do not know in how far my thoughts transfer to other countries. Also, not all countries are equally poor. Some developing countries have a higher GDP than developed countries. Furthermore, some countries are behind on some accounts, but way ahead on others. Cuba, e. g. , has a lower child mortality rate than the US [130]. Therefore, this text will discuss potential reasons for poverty without claiming that they would apply equally to all poor countries. There is considerable dispute about the right term for “poor countries”. The word “poor” has a very negative connotation. Furthermore, “poor countries” are not necessarily poor: They often have vast natural resources. On the other hand, terms such as “developing” or “industrializing” are very positive. They imply that the country would actually be moving out of poverty. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. I have therefore opted for the term “less economically developed country”, or “LED
There is no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
definition of what a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country”
is. The common understanding is that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
if the majority of its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not have a certain minimum living standard. Wikipedia lists a number of more quantitative criteria, ranging from low average income, or a low Gross National Income per capita, to a low Human-Development-Index [44]. This is not to say that material wealth would be the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
or the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
factor to optimize.
Yet
, it constitutes a rough approximation for the well-being of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Poverty is
usually
also
not distributed
equally
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
: Certain ethnic, religious, or social groups might be
particularly
advantaged or disadvantaged. As Hans
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rosling
points out in an informative and entertaining talk about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
statistics [130], the population in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
unequally
by poverty.

The common assumption under any definition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country”
is that Japan, North America, Australia, New Zealand, Western Europe, and Israel
are considered
“not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor”
. This essay will refer to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
as “rich”. It will refer to Western Europe, North America, Australia and New Zealand as “the West”. African
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and South-Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
usually
considered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“poor”
. This text,
in particular
,
is inspired
by my trips to Senegal, Morocco, South America, and India.
Therefore
, it
mainly
focuses on these regions as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“poor”
. I do not know in how far my thoughts transfer to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Also
, not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
equally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have a higher GDP than developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are behind on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
accounts,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
way ahead on others. Cuba,
There should be no space here: "e.g.".
e. g.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
has a lower child mortality rate than the US [130].
Therefore
, this text will discuss potential reasons for poverty without claiming that they would apply
equally
to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
countries.

There is considerable dispute about the right term for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries”
. The word
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“poor”
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
connotation.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries”
are not
necessarily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
: They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have vast natural resources.
On the other hand
, terms such as “developing” or “industrializing” are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
. They imply that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
would actually be moving out of poverty. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. I have
therefore
opted for the term “less
economically
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country”
, or “
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
LED
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay There are people who suffer from poverty in every country. What do you think the reasons for poverty are in your country and what do you think can be done to help these impoverished people? v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
376 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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