Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.3

In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. v. 3
There is a conviction among people that, it is benevolent only if there are less number of people reaping huge profits. On the contrary, there is an equivalent opposite belief among people who say that, the government should control the earning margins if it crosses beyond a threshold. This essay will say that it is a good practice if the governments keep a check on certain people’s breath taking profits. This essay will discuss both the views. To begin with, there are several countries in which certain industries or individuals make huge profits and unimaginable dividends, which are equivalent to another country’s Gross Domestic Product. For example, ‘Boeing’ who is the lead in the aviation sector in manufacturing Airbus, makes a profit of several billion dollars in a month. The citizens of that country believe that it is beneficial to their society, when Boeing and its workforces are reaping huge profits because of their hard work. In this scenario, the country doesn’t come into the company’s profit sharing beyond a certain level, as it is unfair to usurp their profits. By this way, the company’s fiscal growth will be skyrocketing and amassing a whopping level of wealth reserves. On the other hand, there are some countries where the income margins are monopolised by their governments ranging from small scale enterprises till multi-national giants. Their belief is that, if the government did not intervene, theirs profits will be swallowed only the higher management, leaving the rest of the blue collar workers in the lurch. This could lead to tax evasion by luxurious people and unnecessary tax will be burdened on the hard working people. To maintain a legitimate equilibrium, the government controls their income margins and keeps a strong check on the deflation. This will impede money laundering by any famous conglomerates. Furthermore, it will resist further manipulations in their currency value. Thereby the value of their currency will rise in all of the global markets. To recapitulate, capitalism will never result in fruition at all times. We have never seen in history that capitalism thrived and ruled any empire from the past. Therefore, in my opinion the government and the bureaucracy will have to work on its wheels to make sure there is a complete symmetry between the rich and the poor. Only then there will be a harmony in their society, where everyone will be deemed as the kings of their soil.
There is a conviction among
people
that, it is benevolent
only
if there are less number of
people
reaping huge
profits
.
On the contrary
, there is an equivalent opposite belief among
people
who say that, the
government
should control the earning margins if it crosses beyond a threshold. This essay will say that it is a
good
practice if the
governments
keep
a
check
on certain
people’s
breath taking
profits
. This essay will discuss both the views.

To
begin
with, there are several
countries
in which certain industries or individuals
make
huge
profits
and unimaginable dividends, which are equivalent to another
country’s
Gross Domestic Product.
For example
, ‘Boeing’ who is the lead in the aviation sector in manufacturing Airbus,
makes
a
profit
of several billion dollars in a month. The citizens of that
country
believe that it is beneficial to their society, when Boeing and its
workforces
are reaping huge
profits
because
of their
hard
work. In this scenario, the
country
doesn’t
come
into the
company
’s
profit
sharing beyond a certain level, as it is unfair to usurp their
profits
. By this way, the
company
’s fiscal growth will be skyrocketing and amassing a whopping level of wealth reserves.

On the other hand
, there are
some
countries
where the income margins are
monopolised
by their
governments
ranging from
small
scale enterprises till multi-national giants. Their belief is that, if the
government
did not intervene, theirs
profits
will
be swallowed
only
the higher management, leaving the rest of the blue collar workers in the lurch. This could lead to tax evasion by luxurious
people
and unnecessary tax will
be burdened
on the
hard working
people
. To maintain a legitimate equilibrium, the
government
controls their income margins and
keeps
a strong
check
on the deflation. This will impede money laundering by any
famous
conglomerates.
Furthermore
, it will resist
further
manipulations in their currency value. Thereby the value of their currency will rise in
all of the
global markets.

To recapitulate, capitalism will never result in fruition at all times. We have never
seen
in history that capitalism thrived and ruled any empire from the past.
Therefore
, in my opinion the
government
and the bureaucracy will
have to
work on its wheels to
make
sure there is a complete symmetry between the rich and the poor.
Only
then there will be a harmony in their society, where everyone will
be deemed
as the kings of their soil.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
403 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts