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SCIENCE ADVANCED SO MUCH THAT IT CAN NOW MAKE IT POSSIBLE FOR PEOPLE TO LIVE 100 YEARS OR EVEN 200 YEARS. SOME PEOPLE THINK ITS A GOOD THING, WHILE OTHERS THINK IT IS BAD… DISCUSS BOTH THESE VIEWS AND WRITE YOUR OPINION. v.3

SCIENCE ADVANCED SO MUCH THAT IT CAN NOW MAKE IT POSSIBLE FOR PEOPLE TO LIVE 100 YEARS OR EVEN 200 YEARS. SOME PEOPLE THINK ITS A GOOD THING, WHILE OTHERS THINK IT IS BAD… v. 3
The development of technology is projected to increase every year. Advancement in science can make it possible for people to live a century or even a couple of centuries. This essay will discuss about the both sides of the argument and my opinion on those views. Firstly, development in science leads to the improvement of life expectancy of an average human and helps to face any dangerous diseases. Although many people prefer to live for centuries, this leads to imbalance of environment. For instance, when an average person tends to live for more than a century, it leads to over population throughout the world and results to drought for food and other resources. So, there will be a huge damage to the economy and other species. In contrast, some people believe that it is good for the people if we develop a technology which helps to extend our lives. For example, we can spend our time with our great grandchildren and we also use new technology in the future. Living till the future makes a person work less and it can threat to human life. Although we have lived for 100 years, but nature does no support to these processes and kills many people by disasters namely, earthquakes, Tsunami. In conclusion, by discussing the both sides of the argument in the above aforementioned points, it is easy to live for years by technology but it creates many problems and imbalance in nature. In my humble opinion, Everyone should spend their life naturally without the use of science and many great scientists, people should live for years because of their research and new inventions.
The development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is projected
to increase every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. Advancement in science can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it possible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
a century or even a couple of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centuries
. This essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
both sides of the argument and my opinion on those views.

Firstly
, development in science leads to the improvement of life expectancy of an average human and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to face any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
diseases. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centuries
, this leads to imbalance of environment.
For instance
, when an average person tends to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
for more than a century, it leads to over population throughout the world and results to drought for food and other resources.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, there will be
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "huge damage".
a huge damage
to the economy and other species.

In contrast
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
if we develop a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to extend our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
For example
, we can spend our time with our great
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
grandchildren and
we
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in the future. Living till the future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a person work less and it can threat to human life. Although we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
for 100 years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nature does no support to these processes and kills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by disasters
namely
, earthquakes, Tsunami.

In conclusion
, by discussing the both sides of the argument in the above aforementioned points, it is easy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
for years by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems and imbalance in nature. In my humble opinion, Everyone should spend their life
naturally
without the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of science and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
great scientists,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
for years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their research and new inventions.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay SCIENCE ADVANCED SO MUCH THAT IT CAN NOW MAKE IT POSSIBLE FOR PEOPLE TO LIVE 100 YEARS OR EVEN 200 YEARS. SOME PEOPLE THINK ITS A GOOD THING, WHILE OTHERS THINK IT IS BAD… v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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