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It is more important to spend public money promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spent it on the treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

It is more important to spend public money promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spent it on the treatment of people who are already ill. v. 1
Governments should emphasize on funding in a healthy lifestyle instead of investing revenue on medicines to prevent the prevailing dangerous diseases of patients. I, partially, agree with this viewpoint, because giving a healthy life of citizens is equally as important as healing of serious patients. To begin with, it is true preventing of any kinds of ailments must be the first priority of citizens as well as authorities. This is because governments have to provide the least amount of money, if they make aware of the public regarding the serious consequences of unhealthy habits. For example, children and older people would like to eat whatever and wherever they want, so that diseases, like weight problems, and obesity occurs. As a result, they suffer from health-related issues which abstain them from thinking about their career. For that reason, increasing awareness among young and senior citizens, not only provide them a healthy and balanced lifestyle, but it also reduces the cost of authorities in supplying costly medicines and other treatment instruments for patients. In contrast, at present, there are lots of fatal diseases such as AIDS, and different other cancers, which are impossible to cure for the common people. The reason is that for healing such perilous ailments, people need a huge amount of money. Taking into consideration, governments should come forward with helping hand for those patients who are struggling for money, if it would have, they would be free from these diseases. Moreover, governments must separate some revenue for building hospitals, buying the latest equipment for operation theatre, and medicines for curing HIV, and cancers to minimize the expense that generally goes to the public if it is not provided. In conclusion, it is a controversial issue about whether governments invest money on maintaining better lifestyle, or, whether they should provide funding for removing the existing severe diseases. From my perspective, the authorities of nations ought to focus on both good lifestyle and curing diseases.
Governments
should emphasize on funding in a healthy
lifestyle
instead
of investing revenue on medicines to
prevent
the prevailing
dangerous
diseases
of patients. I,
partially
,
agree
with this viewpoint,
because
giving a healthy life of citizens is
equally as
important
as healing of serious patients.

To
begin
with, it is true preventing of any kinds of ailments
must
be the
first
priority of citizens
as well
as authorities. This is
because
governments
have to
provide the least amount of
money
, if they
make
aware of the public regarding the serious consequences of unhealthy habits.
For example
, children and older
people
would like to eat whatever and wherever they want,
so
that
diseases
, like weight problems, and obesity occurs.
As a result
, they suffer from health-related issues which abstain them from thinking about their career. For that reason, increasing awareness among young and senior citizens, not
only
provide them a healthy and balanced
lifestyle
,
but
it
also
reduces
the cost of authorities in supplying costly medicines and other treatment instruments for patients.

In contrast
, at present, there are lots of fatal
diseases
such as AIDS, and
different
other cancers, which are impossible to cure for the common
people
. The reason is that for healing such perilous ailments,
people
need a huge amount of
money
. Taking into consideration,
governments
should
come
forward with helping hand for those patients who are struggling for
money
, if it would have, they would be free from these
diseases
.
Moreover
,
governments
must
separate
some
revenue for building hospitals, buying the latest equipment for operation
theatre
, and medicines for curing HIV, and cancers to minimize the expense that
generally
goes to the public if it is not provided.

In conclusion
, it is a controversial issue about whether
governments
invest
money
on maintaining better
lifestyle
, or, whether they should provide funding for removing the existing severe
diseases
. From my perspective, the authorities of nations ought to focus on both
good
lifestyle
and curing
diseases
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is more important to spend public money promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spent it on the treatment of people who are already ill. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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