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Science will soon make people live up to 100 or even 200 years. Some believe this is a good thing while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Science will soon make people live up to 100 or even 200 years. Some believe this is a good thing while others disagree. v. 1
In the near future, the science and technology advanced in such a way that it suppose to affect human aging. It is argued that this is a positive development, while others disagree and think it will lead to adverse ramifications. This essay will discuss both views and shows agreement towards lateral view. To embark on, the increase in the people live enables them to enjoy life more. Due to extension in the age helps to spend more time in this world and people could utilize it according to their choice. For example, there are many people who could not able to complete their dreams due to short life; now with this science advancement could fulfill them in their extra life span. In short, people have more time to accomplish their dreams. However, some people believe that it is negative development because now they have to more dependent on the medical equipments, which is not good, both in order to live their life fully and for their pockets also. With the medical support it would be difficult to explore the life and it would not be as pleasant as they have earlier, and as it would cost some amount so it would be difficult for poor people to endeavor the same. For instance, if you are rich, you would able to live more as you could pay for these new treatments. Clearly, it is not a positive idea. In conclusion, extended age given by new advancement in medical area is not as good as original live and it could leverage by only rich segments of societies. Some still believe it would be good because this would give them chance to complete unfulfilled desires. In my opinion, as it could benefit only limited people and you are more depended on medical things, hence it is not a good thing to develop.
In the near future, the science and technology advanced in such a way that it suppose to affect human aging. It
is argued
that this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development, while others disagree and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it will lead to adverse ramifications. This essay will discuss both views and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
agreement towards lateral view.

To embark on, the increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
enables them to enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more. Due to extension in the age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to spend more time in this world and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could utilize it according to their choice.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who could not able to complete their dreams due to short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
;
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
with this science advancement could fulfill them in their extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
span. In short,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more time to accomplish their dreams.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
more dependent on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
equipments, which is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
, both in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
fully
and for their pockets
also
. With the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
support it would be difficult to explore the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and it would not be as pleasant as they have earlier, and as it would cost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
amount
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it would be difficult for poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to endeavor the same.
For instance
, if you are rich, you
Did you mean "would be able"?
would able
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
you could pay for these new treatments.
Clearly
, it is not a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

In conclusion
, extended age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by new advancement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
area is not as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
as original
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
and it could leverage by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
rich segments of societies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
still
believe it would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this would give them chance to complete unfulfilled desires. In my opinion, as it could benefit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and you are more depended on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
things,
hence
it is not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
thing to develop.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Science will soon make people live up to 100 or even 200 years. Some believe this is a good thing while others disagree. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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