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schools should prepare students for university rather than work. how far do you agree with this statement. support your point of view with reason /or example from your own experience or observations. v.1

schools should prepare students for university rather than work. how far support your point of view with reason /or example from your own experience or observations. v. 1
It is commonly observed by some that most of the populace is unable to talk or deliver their messages well in the general place. There has been a thought that the teaching should begin from the school. In my opinion, it is significant to express our thinking appropriately in the community because to avoid misunderstanding and I agree that it has to be educated from the schoolings itself. To begin with, speaking clearly in the society will reduce the misinterpretation of the messages delivered by the speaker. In other words, if the speech is not understandable by the listener or not clear it may lead to interpret the information in a wrong way to others. As a result, it will ruin the image of the orator. For example, in most of the countries, while doing election campaign, political parties are delivering their speech to get votes, but most of the messages were spread wrongly to the public because of not in an organised manner. Thus, it has to be clear and concise while talking in social places to avoid the misunderstanding of the theme. Admittedly, learning of oratorical skill ought to be start of school to avoid stage fear and clear speech. That is to say that when children have the confidence to talk clearly with their peers, they can present their ideas well in the society without any discomfort in the future. Also, it will aid them to focus more on their thoughts to narrate it clearly during their presentation. For instance, the group discussions conducted by the companies during recruiting their employee states that people who got training from their school speaks well than others. Therefore, it helps to get better job opportunities when they learn the skill from school by reducing their fear. In conclusion, I wholeheartedly agree that it is more important to speak clearly in public to avoid the transformation of information in an incorrect way and I believe that it has to be taught from school to minimise the arena dread.
It is
commonly
observed by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that most of the populace is unable to talk or deliver their messages well in the general place. There has been a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that the teaching should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. In my opinion, it is significant to express our thinking
appropriately
in the community
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
avoid
misunderstanding and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be educated
from the
Possible spelling mistake found.
schoolings
itself.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, speaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clearly
in the society will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the misinterpretation of the messages delivered by the speaker.
In other words
, if the speech is not understandable by the listener or not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
it may lead to interpret the information in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
way to others.
As a result
, it will ruin the image of the orator.
For example
, in most of the countries, while doing election campaign, political parties are delivering their speech to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
votes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
most of the messages
were spread
wrongly
to the public
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of not
Consider replacing "in an organised manner" with the adverb for "organised"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an organised manner
.
Thus
, it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
and concise while talking in social places to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
avoid
the misunderstanding of the theme.

Admittedly
, learning of oratorical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
ought to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
avoid
stage fear and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
speech.
That is
to say that when children have the confidence to talk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clearly
with their peers, they can present their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
well in the society without any discomfort in the future.
Also
, it will aid them to focus more on their thoughts to narrate it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clearly
during their presentation.
For instance
, the group discussions conducted by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
during recruiting their employee states that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
training from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
speaks
Use "better" to make a comparison with this adjective.
well
than others.
Therefore
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better job opportunities when they learn the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
by reducing their fear.

In conclusion
, I
wholeheartedly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to speak
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clearly
in public to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
avoid
the transformation of information
Consider replacing "in an incorrect way" with the adverb for "incorrect"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an incorrect way
and I believe that it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be taught
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimise' is British English.
minimise
the arena dread.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay schools should prepare students for university rather than work. how far support your point of view with reason /or example from your own experience or observations. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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