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Schools should not force children to learn a foreign language. To what estent do you agree with this statement? v.3

Schools should not force children to learn a foreign language. To what estent v. 3
It is often thought by many that industrial areas should be located outside the big cities. In my opinion, this is a brilliant thought as the advantages of doing so greatly outweigh any disadvantages. This essay discusses how it is an optimal solution to minimize air pollution and traffic congestion in urban areas. Nevertheless, there are numerous positive aspects; the first and foremost is the provision of less polluted air to the residents of the vast cities. Industrial units, nowadays, are considered as one of the main contributors to air pollution. By taking them out of the cities will eventually help to improve the atmosphere. According to research conducted by the Pakistan Environmental Protection Agency, more than seventy percent of pollutants come from the smoke emitted by the large companies. Another benefit is that it will help control the number of immigrants, migrating to urban areas in search of job opportunities. When people do not find work near their homes, they tend to relocate to urban areas where they find more job options. If companies can operate their local offices from rural areas, then residents of small-town will find jobs near to their hometown, and will no longer be forced to migrate to other cities. For example, more than a thousand people were able to earn for their families, and meanwhile, stick to their homeland when Uniliver built a new plant in a small town in the year 2015. In conclusion, companies operating in villages flourish their businesses without threatening the cities environment and also provide employment opportunities to the people of local areas. It is predicted that in the near future more and more companies will consider moving their offices outside the cities.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
should
be located
outside the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. In my opinion, this is a brilliant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
as the advantages of doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
greatly
outweigh any disadvantages. This essay discusses how it is an optimal solution to minimize air pollution and traffic congestion in urban areas.

Nevertheless
, there are numerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects; the
first
and foremost is the provision of less polluted air to the residents of the vast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. Industrial units, nowadays,
are considered
as one of the main contributors to air pollution. By taking them out of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
will
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the atmosphere. According to research conducted by the Pakistan Environmental Protection Agency, more than seventy percent of pollutants
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from the smoke emitted by the large
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

Another benefit is that it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
control the number of immigrants, migrating to urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
in search of job opportunities. When
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not find work near their homes, they tend to relocate to urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
where they find more job options. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can operate their local offices from rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, then residents of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
-town will find jobs near to their hometown, and will no longer
be forced
to migrate to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
For example
, more than a thousand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were able to earn for their families, and meanwhile, stick to their homeland when
Possible spelling mistake found.
Uniliver
built a new plant in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
town in the year 2015.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
operating in villages flourish their businesses without threatening the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
environment and
also
provide employment opportunities to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. It
is predicted
that in the near future more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
will consider moving their offices outside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Schools should not force children to learn a foreign language. To what estent v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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