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Schools should not force children to learn a foreign language. To what estent do you agree with this statement? v.4

Schools should not force children to learn a foreign language. To what estent v. 4
It is true that the question of whether a foreign language should be a mandatory subject in school context has remained a source of vigorous debate. In my opinion, while disagreeing with the idea that schools should oblige children to learn a foreign language, I believe that schools could make it optional for students themselves. On the one hand, there are a variety of reasons why forcing schoolchildren to comprehend another language besides their mother tongue is implausible. Firstly, it stands to reason that some youngsters lack the ability to learn another language as their brains either are not fully-fledged or suffer from mental ailments to fathom an added language. A compulsory foreign language, therefore, could negatively influence their sustainable development if teachers strive to cram this totally new knowledge into them. Furthermore, schoolchidren are less conscious of the crucial role of becoming a bilingual in their lives, resulting in their attention that they pay to per foreign language lesson. In other words, if school governors could not deal with this in the first place, then it is highly likely that their endeavor to instil a foreign language to their students would be futile and counterproductive. On the other hand, I contend that schools should let children choose their own path, meaning that they should make foreign languages optional for all students. To do this, school governors have to establish a wide range of disiplines so that children could be free to pick out the one that they enjoy the most instead of forcing them to choose only one foreign language as usual. By doing so, the quality of lessons could be improved due to the fact that children would concentrate fully on their favorite subjects, leading to the fabulous results for the productive leaners. In conclusion, it seems to me that a foreign language should not be a mandatory subject for leaners but an optional choice for them.
It is true that
Wordiness: Consider shortening this phrase.
the question of whether
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
should be a mandatory subject in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
context has remained a source of vigorous debate. In my opinion, while disagreeing with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should oblige
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it optional for students themselves.

On the one hand, there are a variety of reasons why forcing schoolchildren to comprehend another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
besides
their mother tongue is implausible.
Firstly
, it stands to reason that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
youngsters lack the ability to learn another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
as their brains either are not
fully
-fledged or suffer from mental ailments to fathom an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. A compulsory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
,
therefore
, could
negatively
influence their sustainable development if teachers strive to cram this
totally
new knowledge into them.
Furthermore
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
schoolchidren
are less conscious of the crucial role of becoming a bilingual in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, resulting in their attention that they pay to per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
lesson.
In other words
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
governors could not deal with this in the
first
place, then it is
highly
likely that their endeavor to
Possible spelling mistake. 'instil' is British English.
instil
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
to their students would be futile and counterproductive.

On the other hand
, I contend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
choose their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
path, meaning that they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
optional for all students. To do this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
governors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
establish a wide range of
Possible spelling mistake found.
disiplines
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could be free to pick out the one that they enjoy the most
instead
of forcing them to choose
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
as usual. By doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, the quality of lessons could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
due to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would concentrate
fully
on their favorite subjects, leading to the fabulous results for the productive
Possible spelling mistake found.
leaners
.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
should not be a mandatory subject for
Possible spelling mistake found.
leaners
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
an optional choice for them.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Schools should not force children to learn a foreign language. To what estent v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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