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Schools should not force children to learn a foreign language. To what extent do you agree with this statement? v.2

Schools should not force children to learn a foreign language. v. 2
It is true that some people argue that a foreign language should not be one of the compulsory subjects studied in schools. While I believe that it is useful for schoolchildren to learn a foreign language, I agree completely that they should not be forced to do so. On the one hand, it will benefit the education of most children if they are encouraged learn a foreign language during their school years. Firstly, through studying the language they will learn about the culture of that country, and some schools even arrange exchange visits, to enable students to briefly immerse themselves in the culture of the foreign country whose language they are learning. Secondly, children can access information in another language. For example, if they are studying English, they can enjoy websites which are only available in English on any topic in which they are interested. Finally, children can be encouraged to learn a foreign language through the range of enjoyable and fun materials available nowadays, especially interactive online learning. On the other hand, it would be counterproductive to forcibly oblige schoolchildren to learn a foreign language. One reason is that children will not learn effectively through compulsion alone. They must be motivated to do so and this is only achieved through enthusiastic teachers who select stimulating language-learning activities. Another reason is that schoolchildren will be reluctant to learn a foreign language if they cannot see why it might be relevant to their present or future lives. For example, individual Vietnamese pupils should not be forced to learn English if they are certain that they will never need or want to use it in the future. In conclusion, I would argue that schools should encourage, but not compel, children to learn a foreign language.
It is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
should not be one of the compulsory subjects studied in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. While I believe that it is useful for schoolchildren to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
completely that they should not
be forced
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.

On the one hand, it will benefit the education of most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
if they
are encouraged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
during their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
years.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
studying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about the culture of that country, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
even arrange exchange visits, to enable students to
briefly
immerse themselves in the culture of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
country whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
they are learning.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can access information in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
For example
, if they are studying English, they can enjoy websites which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
available in English on any topic in which they
are interested
.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
be encouraged
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the range of enjoyable and fun materials available nowadays,
especially
interactive online learning.

On the other hand
, it would be counterproductive to
forcibly
oblige schoolchildren to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. One reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
effectively
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
compulsion alone. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be motivated
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
and this is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
achieved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
enthusiastic teachers who select stimulating language-learning activities. Another reason is that schoolchildren will be reluctant to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
if they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
why it might be relevant to their present or future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For example
, individual Vietnamese pupils should not
be forced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
English if they are certain that they will never need or want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it in the future.

In conclusion
, I would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should encourage,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not compel,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Schools should not force children to learn a foreign language. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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