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Schools should do more to teach students about their health and wellbeing. v. 1

Educational institutions must put extra efforts to educate their pupil about healthy habits and fitness. I completely agree with this statement. This essay will explain two fundamental activities that schools, who want their students to be healthier, can adopt and practice. Firstly, education organisations should organise frequent health campaigns, which can explain about human body anatomy and how and why different body parts are prone to various diseases. This can promote awareness among students, and they may become more health conscious thereby may also prevent themselves from various disease. Moreover, they could also identify symptoms of ailments at early stages. For instance, in an experiment conducted by WHO on eye visibility of young children, it is proved that schools, who had regular eye inspections, rendered 95% of students with perfect eyesight, on the contrary, schools who did not conduct such activity comprised only 60% of pupil with better eye visibility. Another element that institutes can adopt is nutrition and diet classes. This would help youngsters to understand how food habits contribute towards leading a healthy life. Maintaining balanced diet is the key to fitness, which is evident in the form of fit body and great physique. For example: Japanese academic curriculum constitutes nutrition and diet as a mandatory subject in order to yield healthy future citizens, who are crucial elements for the development of the country. Hence, disease like obesity, diabetes are scarcely found in this region. Furthermore, men and women in japan carry attractive physique due to their healthy etiquette. In conclusion, in order to produce healthy population health education is an essential factor, and schools play a prominent role in impacting health of a nation provided they conduct fitness promotions and trainings. Therefore educational institutions should focus more on health sciences.

IELTS essay Schools should do more to teach students about their health and wellbeing. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Educational institutions
must
put extra efforts to educate their pupil about
healthy
habits and fitness. I completely
agree
with this statement. This essay will
explain
two fundamental activities that
schools
,
who
want their students to be healthier, can adopt and practice.

Firstly
, education
organisations
should
organise
frequent
health
campaigns, which can
explain
about human body anatomy and how and why
different
body parts are prone to various diseases. This can promote awareness among students, and they may become more
health
conscious thereby may
also
prevent
themselves from various disease.
Moreover
, they could
also
identify symptoms of ailments at early stages.
For instance
, in an experiment conducted by
WHO
on eye visibility of young children, it
is proved
that
schools
,
who
had regular eye inspections, rendered 95% of students with perfect eyesight,
on the contrary
,
schools
who
did not conduct such activity comprised
only
60% of pupil with better eye visibility.

Another element that institutes can adopt is nutrition and diet classes. This would
help
youngsters to understand how food habits contribute towards leading a
healthy
life. Maintaining balanced diet is the key to fitness, which is evident in the form of fit body and great physique.
For example
: Japanese academic curriculum constitutes nutrition and diet as a mandatory subject in order to yield
healthy
future citizens,
who
are crucial elements for the development of the country.
Hence
, disease like obesity, diabetes are
scarcely
found in this region.
Furthermore
,
men
and women in japan carry attractive physique due to their
healthy
etiquette.

In conclusion
, in order to produce
healthy
population
health
education is an essential factor, and
schools
play a prominent role in impacting
health
of a nation provided they conduct fitness promotions and trainings.
Therefore
educational institutions should focus more on
health
sciences.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans
Essay
4 paragraphs
293 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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