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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

If not controlled and planned in a proper manner, population hike in itself can become hazardous. It has its own advantages as well as disadvantages, however the same depends on the way the manpower is being used and the correct ratio between old and similar aged people. I personally think if a country or a nation is over populated whether it be with the young crowd or relatively older population it is harmful in numerous ways. We shall explore the reasons and look at different aspects in this essay. Today, for example, we can take India and China as examples. While there is nothing wrong with these two nations, we should throw some light on the rate at which the population is increasing in both these countries in an alarming rate. Being a citizen of India and having been brought up in one of the most populated city in the world i. e. Mumbai, I feel that population should be controlled soon else, we would be leaving an unsafe place for our future generations where it would be difficult for them to survive and they would most likely struggle for all the natural resources which we were fortunate enough to enjoy from mother nature. If the young population is more in the nation undoubtedly the working manpower ratio would be increased and in turn it would lead to the development of the nation. More and more people would be willing to work inside and outside of the nation bringing growth and prosperity in the nation’s economy. However, by not thinking in a materialistic way and taking our future generations into consideration, there are consequences that they might have to face. Such as extinguishing of most of the natural resources. For example, forests are being destroyed in-order to accommodate the increasing population. Lack of money to fulfil even their basic needs as a human being etc. Coming back to the older population, there also the role of the government is quite crucial as the needs of older people are similar to the needs of children. There should be appropriate facilities that should be done by the government to look after the old people and provide them with proper healthcare and nutrition. All this will be possible only if the population is under control and manageable. If the population is increasing at this rate it will affect the quality of life which in turn would cause more problems. Hence, In my opinion, the population in general should not increase at such a rate where, it will cause a threat to the very existence of life and would affect the well- being of all the humans.

IELTS essay At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

If not controlled and planned
in a proper manner
,
population
hike in itself can become hazardous. It has its
own
advantages
as well
as disadvantages,
however
the same depends on the way the manpower is being
used
and the correct ratio between
old
and similar aged
people
. I
personally
think
if a country or a
nation
is over populated whether it be with the young crowd or
relatively
older
population
it is harmful in numerous ways. We shall explore the reasons and look at
different
aspects in this essay.

Today
,
for example
, we can take India and China as examples. While there is nothing
wrong
with these two
nations
, we should throw
some
light on the
rate
at which the
population
is increasing in both these countries in an alarming
rate
. Being a citizen of India and having
been brought
up in one of the most populated city in the world
i. e.
Mumbai, I feel that
population
should
be controlled
soon
else, we would be leaving an unsafe place for our future generations where it would be difficult for them to
survive and
they would most likely struggle for all the natural resources which we were fortunate
enough
to enjoy from mother nature.

If the young
population
is more in the
nation
undoubtedly
the working manpower ratio would
be increased
and in turn it would lead to the development of the
nation
. More and more
people
would be willing to work inside and
outside of
the
nation
bringing growth and prosperity in the
nation’s
economy.
However
, by not thinking
in a materialistic way
and taking our future generations into consideration, there are consequences that they might
have to
face. Such as extinguishing of most of the natural resources.
For example
, forests are being
destroyed
in-order to accommodate the increasing
population
. Lack of money to fulfil even their basic needs as a human being etc.

Coming back to the older
population
, there
also
the role of the
government
is quite crucial as the needs of older
people
are similar to the needs of children. There should be appropriate facilities that should
be done
by the
government
to look after the
old
people
and provide them with proper healthcare and nutrition. All this will be possible
only
if the
population
is under control and manageable.
If
the
population
is increasing at this
rate
it will affect the quality of life which in turn would cause more problems.

Hence
, In my opinion, the
population
in general
should not increase at such a
rate
where, it will cause a threat to the
very
existence of life and would affect the well- being of all the humans.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet
Essay
5 paragraphs
443 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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