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Schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information available through the internet, and they can study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

Schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information available through the internet, and they can study just as well at home. v. 3
In today’s modern world, people hold different views about whether parents should apply homeschooling or not send their offsprings to traditional schools. I personally disagree with the idea that just only stay at home and obtain knowledge from the Internet, the children could become a successful people in the future. On the one hand, There are several reasons why some critics believe that E-learning and home-based education are advantageous in certain ways. This is because the learners are able to access almost any information they need. This is well illustrated by the fact that a Vietnamese student just sitting in his private room can figure out how children in Africa are combating with the daily poverty and a high schooler in the US can easily look up information about the trend of development amongst ASEAN countries. However, in an enormous amount of information, it is likely that children find themselves disoriented. It is not to mention misleading information, which is popularly found on uncensored websites. In contrast, at school, learners receive guidance and explanations for particular topics provided by well-qualified teachers. Nevertheless, I personally support the idea that the children should go to school. The ones are not only a place of knowledge-centred education but also a miniature society where children are able to make friends with their classmates, which equips them vital interpersonal skills and builds their future social relationships. On contrary, individuals who apply homeschooling have limited social connection and perhaps they have rarely extracurricular activities to participate in. In addition to that, learners would receive formal education include academic knowledge and moral lessons such as politeness, honesty and respect towards older people. Without schooling, children may not comprehensively develop into useful citizens. In conclusion, home-based education has its own good sides. However, I concur that the children should go to schools to get thoroughly both academic knowledge and other social skills.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s modern world,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about whether parents should apply homeschooling or not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
to traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. I
personally
disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
stay at home and obtain knowledge from the Internet, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could become a successful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the future.

On the one hand, There are several reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
critics believe that E-learning and home-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
are advantageous in certain ways. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the learners are able to access almost any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
they need. This is well illustrated by the fact that a Vietnamese student
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
sitting in his private room can figure out how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in Africa are combating with the daily poverty and a high schooler in the US can
easily
look up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about the trend of development amongst ASEAN countries.
However
, in an enormous amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, it is likely that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
find themselves disoriented. It is not to mention misleading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, which is
popularly
found on uncensored websites.
In contrast
, at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, learners receive guidance and explanations for particular topics provided by well-qualified teachers.

Nevertheless
, I
personally
support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. The ones are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a place of
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowledge-centred
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a miniature society where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends with their classmates, which equips them vital interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and builds their future social relationships. On contrary, individuals who apply homeschooling have limited social connection and perhaps they have rarely extracurricular activities to participate in.
In addition
to that, learners would receive formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
include academic knowledge and moral lessons such as politeness, honesty and respect towards older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Without schooling,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may not
comprehensively
develop into useful citizens.

In conclusion
, home-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sides.
However
, I concur that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
thoroughly
both academic knowledge and other social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information available through the internet, and they can study just as well at home. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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