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Schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information available through the internet, and they can study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree v.1

Schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information available through the internet, and they can study just as well at home. v. 1
It is true that the digital revolution has had profound effects on important aspects of our lives, including education. While advances in technology have led some people to argue that children no longer need schooling, but should instead study online at home, I completely disagree with such a view. Schools are necessary because they play an essential role in educating children. Firstly, even assuming that all children are computer-literate and have access to the internet at home, teachers impose discipline. In many households, both parents are out at work, so it is unrealistic to imagine a child sitting alone studying online all day, without distractions. Secondly, studying under supervision, children are not only disciplined but their progress is monitored and supervised, with teachers giving feedback and guidance. In this way, children will not fall behind with their studies. Finally, student interaction in the classroom promotes vital social skills of cooperation and teamwork, for example through classroom projects. On the other hand, the internet is unsuitable as a unique teaching tool for children to educate themselves at home. Whereas teachers tailor their teaching strategies to meet the needs of individual students, the internet has no such flexibility. Interactive learning is possible through some online sites, but this can only take the form of multiple-choice questions and answers. It is no substitute for face-to-face learning in which students interact with both teachers and fellow-students. There is another important consideration. The development of the ability to sift information available online only comes later when students enter higher education or enrol on a vocational course. In conclusion, although there are excellent study sites online, schools provide the necessary structural framework in which learning can take place in a disciplined study environment. 289 words
It is true that the digital revolution has had profound effects on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspects of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, including education. While advances in technology have led
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
no longer need schooling,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
should
instead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
at home, I completely disagree with such a view.

Schools are necessary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they play an essential role in educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Firstly
, even assuming that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are computer-literate and have access to the internet at home,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
impose discipline. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
households, both parents are out at work,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is unrealistic to imagine a child sitting alone studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
all day, without distractions.
Secondly
, studying under supervision,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
disciplined
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their progress
is monitored
and supervised, with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
giving feedback and guidance. In this way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will not fall behind with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
interaction in the classroom promotes vital social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of cooperation and teamwork,
for example
through classroom projects.

On the other hand
, the internet is unsuitable as a unique teaching tool for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to educate themselves at home. Whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
tailor their teaching strategies to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the needs of individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, the internet has no such flexibility. Interactive learning is possible through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
sites,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
take the form of multiple-choice questions and answers. It is no substitute for face-to-face learning in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
interact with both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and fellow-students. There is another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
consideration. The development of the ability to sift information available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
later when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
enter higher education or enrol on a vocational course.

In conclusion
, although there are excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
sites
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, schools provide the necessary structural framework in which learning can take place in a disciplined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
environment.

289 words
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information available through the internet, and they can study just as well at home. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
288 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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