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It is now possible to perform everyday tasks, such as bank transaction, shopping or even office works, without meeting people face to face. What are the effects it may have on individuals and the society as a whole? v.2

It is now possible to perform everyday tasks, such as bank transaction, shopping or even office works, without meeting people face to face. What are the effects it may have on individuals and the society as a whole? v. 2
In today’s modern world, with the rapid development of digital technology, individuals could complete almost their daily tasks without direct interaction. While some people think that this tendency brings a numerous advantages, others claim that it has a detrimental impact on human life. My following essay will analyse both sides of this trend. On the one hand, there are several reasons why a whole host of critics believe that online transactions make their life easier. It is not uncommon that these activities save their valuable time and energy. Users could purchase items, transform cash or even negotiate with international partners through a cyberspace without commuting to anywhere. A report from Queensland University showed that 80% Australians had ever made a purchase online through their technology gadget in 2017. The reasons given by online shoppers are they could compare the price or size among a various the branch and pay online without time-consuming. Therefore, it is clear that completing own daily tasks on the Internet has undeniable advantages. On the other hand, this phenomenon also has a negative impact on individuals and community. With the widespread of Internet and E-commerce, the risk of the leakage personal information is highly increasing. This is because the first step to purchase online is inform their name, bank account, email address and the phone number. These tremendous data are a target for cybercriminals who have ability steal whole of your money without visit your residence. This is well illustrated by the evidence that Ms Huong who is Vietcombank’s client was stolen 500 million just by click strange website. Thus, the online transaction exposure has an adverse impact on human life. In conclusion, the above analyses show that performing almost daily tasks through cyberspace have both pros and cons, however, I believe it is an inevitable trend in the future.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s modern world, with the rapid development of digital technology, individuals could complete almost their daily tasks without direct interaction. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this tendency brings a numerous
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "advantage"?
advantages
, others claim that it has a detrimental impact on human life. My following essay will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
both sides of this trend.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why a whole host of critics
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "believes"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'believe' is not always incorrect.)
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
transactions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their life easier. It is not uncommon that these activities save their valuable time and energy. Users could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
items, transform cash or even negotiate with international partners through a cyberspace without commuting to anywhere. A report from Queensland University
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 80% Australians had ever made a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
through their technology gadget in 2017. The reasons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shoppers are they could compare the price or size among a various the branch and pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
without time-consuming.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that completing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
daily tasks on the Internet has undeniable advantages.

On the other hand
, this phenomenon
also
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on individuals and community. With
The phrase 'the widespread of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the widespread of
Internet and E-commerce, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of the leakage personal information is
highly
increasing. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
first
step to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is
Consider using a past participle here: "informed".
inform
their name, bank account, email address and the phone number. These tremendous data are a target for cybercriminals who have ability steal whole of your money without visit your residence. This is well illustrated by the evidence that Ms
Possible spelling mistake found.
Huong
who is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vietcombank
’s client
was stolen
500 million
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by click strange website.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
transaction exposure has an adverse impact on human life.

In conclusion
, the above analyses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that performing almost daily tasks through cyberspace have both pros and cons,
however
, I believe it is an inevitable trend in the future.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay It is now possible to perform everyday tasks, such as bank transaction, shopping or even office works, without meeting people face to face. What are the effects it may have on individuals and the society as a whole? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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