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People increasingly access the news online these days, rather than buying newspaper and magazines to find out what is going on. Some people predict that, because of the spread of internet news, the newspaper will disappear at some point in the future. Do y v.2

People increasingly access the news online these days, rather than buying newspaper and magazines to find out what is going on. Some people predict that, because of the spread of internet news, the newspaper will disappear at some point in the future. Do y v. 2
In today’s modern world, with the rapid development of Internet and technology, people hold different views whether newspaper die or not. I agree with the statement that in somedays in the future, a newspaper will be replaced by the online news. On the one hand, there are several reasons why some critics believe that newspapers have advantages in their own ways. This is because the accurate rate of information in these ones generally higher than the online news. With the strict process, each newspaper was carefully censored and edited before publishing. In addition to that, the readers are likely to avoid adverse impact on their eyes as read on a modern gadget. Therefore, it seems that newspapers still useful for some readers, especially elder people. On the other hand, I personally agree with the idea that online news perhaps replaces the traditional news in the future. Firstly, these days almost individual own modern gadgets such as Ipad, a smartphone which able to connect the Internet and convenience to read online news. There is well illustrated by the evidence that the recent poll by UK government found that 95% citizens own at least one technology device. Reading news from social network or website bring to users not only promptly information but also vivid illustration by appealing videos and images. The second highlight benefit of online news is that readers would save money because almost news website is free. Furthermore, this reading way also protects the environment, for not use paper in processing produce. Thus, I concur that online news might defeat the tradition newspaper in the future. In conclusion, although people have been argued newspaper will disappear or not at some point in the future. I believe that the news online era is coming and this tendency will enormously be developing in the future time.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s modern world, with the rapid development of Internet and technology,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
or not. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that in
Possible spelling mistake found.
somedays
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
will
be replaced
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
news.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
critics believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
have advantages in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
ways. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the accurate rate of information in
This phrase is probably grammatically incorrect. Write "these" instead.
these ones
generally
higher than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. With the strict process, each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
was
carefully
censored and edited
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
publishing.
In addition
to that, the readers are likely to avoid adverse impact on their eyes as read on a modern gadget.
Therefore
, it seems that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
still
useful for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
readers,
especially
elder
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the other hand
, I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
perhaps replaces the traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
Firstly
, these days almost individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
modern gadgets such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ipad
, a smartphone which able to connect the Internet and convenience to read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. There is well illustrated by the evidence that the recent poll by UK
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
found that 95% citizens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
at least one technology device. Reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
from social network or website bring to users not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
promptly
information
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
vivid illustration by appealing videos and images. The second highlight benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is that readers would save money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
almost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
website is free.
Furthermore
, this reading way
also
protects the environment, for not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
paper in processing produce.
Thus
, I concur that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
might defeat the tradition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
in the future.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
been argued
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
will disappear or not at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
point in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
era is coming and this tendency will
enormously
be developing in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
time.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay People increasingly access the news online these days, rather than buying newspaper and magazines to find out what is going on. Some people predict that, because of the spread of internet news, the newspaper will disappear at some point in the future. Do y v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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