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Some people think that not only should professional sports and cultural enterprises be sponsored by the government but also that amateur adult and children groups should get funding. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position. v.1

Some people think that not only should professional sports and cultural enterprises be sponsored by the government but also that amateur adult and children groups should get funding. Use specific reasons and examples to support your position. v. 1
Sports and cultural activities are a part and parcel of human life. Every individual, at some point in time, would have taken part in sports or cultural activities for fitness, fun, recreation or as a career. Some people opine that the bodies which promote these activities, irrespective of it is professional or amateur, should be funded by the government. In my view, it is a valid argument as funding only the professional groups will neglect the people who don't have access to such bodies. While there is no denying that the professional enterprises create world-class sportsmen and artists, the low-level amateur groups are the ones which inculcate the interests in sports and the arts into the minds of the people right from their childhood. They provide beginner level training, teach discipline and condition people to enter into the professional world. A recent study on sports psychology, conducted by Oxford University, states that sports and cultural clubs in schools played a major role in shaping the sportsmanship and the artistic capabilities of the professionals who have achieved significant success. Furthermore, people residing even in rural areas who do not have exposure and awareness about professional enterprises, have access to such local groups. Hence, these groups can easily spot people who have natural talents and provide a platform for them to improve their skills. As an example, the MRF Pace Foundation, located in the remotest part of Chennai, run by a few sports enthusiasts, has produced more than five international cricket bowlers. To recapitulate, although the professional enterprises strive hard to create truly world-class and competitive people and require a major share of the funding to provide advanced training, the amateur groups and clubs need equal attention and funding as they identify and nurture the right talent and help create a fit, better and happy society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
and cultural activities are a part and parcel of human life. Every individual, at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
point in time, would have taken part in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
or cultural activities for fitness, fun, recreation or as a career.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that the bodies which promote these activities, irrespective of it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
or amateur, should
be funded
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. In my view, it is a valid argument as funding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
will neglect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
don't have access to such bodies.

While there is no denying that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
enterprises create world-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
sportsmen and artists, the low-level amateur
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
are the ones which inculcate the interests in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and the arts into the minds of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
right from their childhood. They provide beginner level training, teach discipline and condition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to enter into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
world. A recent study on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
psychology, conducted by Oxford University, states that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and cultural clubs in schools played a major role in shaping the sportsmanship and the artistic capabilities of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have achieved significant success.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
residing even in rural areas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not have exposure and awareness about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
enterprises, have access to such local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
.
Hence
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
can
easily
spot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have natural talents and provide a platform for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. As an example, the MRF Pace Foundation, located in the remotest part of Chennai, run by a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
enthusiasts, has produced more than five international cricket bowlers.

To recapitulate, although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
enterprises strive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to create
truly
world-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and require a major share of the funding to provide advanced training, the amateur
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
and clubs need equal attention and funding as they identify and nurture the right talent and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
create a fit, better and happy society.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that not only should professional sports and cultural enterprises be sponsored by the government but also that amateur adult and children groups should get funding. Use specific reasons and examples to support your position. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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