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School should prepare students for the university rather than work. How far do you agree with this statement? v.1

School should prepare students for the university rather than work. How far v. 1
School education is an important part of every individual’s life. It does create a base for everything else in the life ahead, in fact, whole learning capabilities depend on this. Some people opine that schools should prepare students for the university rather than jobs. However, I do assent with this opinion to a large extent. Opponents may argue that preparing for workplace right from school days can be beneficial for survival in today’s world of cut-throat competition. But, I would say is that it is too early stage to engage the little buds with some job oriented activities. They should be rather be occupied with learning the basics of various subjects or languages, which can assist them in further studies during the high school education. Take an example, learning alphabets then words and then sentences in school have a purpose behind this sequence. They curriculum have been designed the way it will be easy to grasp for students. In addition to that, the fundamentals learnt at the school time succour the pupils to decide about the subjects or field they will like to pursue in universities and life ahead. At the school time, students are not capable enough to decide on what they want to do in their life in future, so it is hard to help them learn the particular skills that will be required. For example, different fields require different prowess like defence forces demand more discipline while government positions require more patience which can only be learnt later on after completing education. To recapitulate, I would say that school studies should be confined to learning basics which will help the disciples in university education.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
education is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of every individual’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It does create a base for everything else in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
ahead, in fact, whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
capabilities depend on this.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should prepare students for the university
rather
than jobs.
However
, I do assent with this opinion to a large extent.

Opponents may argue that preparing for workplace right from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
days can be beneficial for survival in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
-throat competition.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, I would say is that it is too early stage to engage the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
buds with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
job oriented activities. They should be
rather
be occupied
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
the basics of various subjects or languages, which can assist them in
further
studies during the high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
education. Take an example,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
alphabets then words and then sentences in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
have a purpose behind this sequence.
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'They'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
They curriculum
have
been designed
the way it will be easy to grasp for students.

In addition
to that, the fundamentals
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt at
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
time
Possible spelling mistake found.
succour
the pupils to decide about the subjects or field they
Did you mean "would"?
will
like to pursue in universities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
ahead. At the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
time, students are not capable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to decide on what they want to do in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them learn the particular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that will
be required
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
prowess like
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
forces demand more discipline while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
positions require more patience which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
later on after completing education.

To recapitulate, I would say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
studies should
be confined
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
basics which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the disciples in university education.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay School should prepare students for the university rather than work. How far v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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