Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Sport today is turning into a business and there are companies involved that sponsor sports with ever growing prize money for the sportsman as a part of their advertising. Some people agree to this because it has a good effect on the world of sports, others however disagree. v.1

Sport today is turning into a business and there are companies involved that sponsor sports with ever growing prize money for the sportsman as a part of their advertising. Some people agree to this because it has a good effect on the world of sports, others however disagree. v. 1
Today it is quite common to see sporting events, teams and even individual players wearing logos on uniforms and appear in television advertising, which means commercialization has become a part of the modern game, with both positive and negative outcomes. Advocates of sports sponsorship believe that commercialization enables players financially secured and maintains professional sports to be of high quality and great entertainment. If a major company sponsors an event, it is much more likely to get prime time television coverage, which means bringing in greater advertising revenues and exposing more people to the sport. This will bring in more fans, improve the profitability of local sports clubs, which in turn helps the local economy and revives community spirit when the team is performing well. However, others claim that this has had some negative impacts as  commercialization has changed the attitude of the players and jeopardised the true spirit of the game. The players no more play for the thrill and love of the game but have been lured and entangled into the vicious web of match fixing. They have become commodities to be traded and sold for extravagant sums of money and even clubs are being sold to the highest bidders. This has hampered and defamed the spirit of the game. In my opinion, though there are scandals about players using performance-enhancing drugs, which should be discouraged, these situations are under control. And it is not necessarily wrong for companies to sponsor sports with extraordinary prize money, which not only helps to promote players’ skills and ensure their livelihood but also creates high-quality sports events that generate economic growth as well as encourage people to get more exercise to keep healthy.
Today
it is quite common to
see
sporting
events
, teams and even individual
players
wearing logos on uniforms and appear in television advertising, which means commercialization has become a part of the modern game, with both
positive
and
negative
outcomes.

Advocates of
sports
sponsorship believe that commercialization enables
players
financially
secured and maintains professional
sports
to be of high quality and great entertainment. If a major
company
sponsors an
event
, it is much more likely to
get
prime time
television coverage, which means bringing in greater advertising revenues and exposing more
people
to the
sport
. This will bring in more fans,
improve
the profitability of local
sports
clubs, which in turn
helps
the local economy and revives community spirit when the team is performing well.

However
, others claim that this has had
some
negative
impacts as
 
commercialization has
changed
the attitude of the
players
and
jeopardised
the true spirit of the game. The
players
no more play for the thrill and
love
of the game
but
have
been lured
and entangled into the vicious web of match fixing. They have become commodities to
be traded
and sold for extravagant sums of money and even clubs are
being sold
to the highest bidders. This has hampered and defamed the spirit of the game.

In my opinion, though there are scandals about
players
using performance-enhancing drugs, which should
be discouraged
, these situations are under control. And it is not
necessarily
wrong
for
companies
to sponsor
sports
with extraordinary prize money, which not
only
helps
to promote
players’
skills
and ensure their livelihood
but
also
creates high-quality
sports
events
that generate economic growth
as well
as encourage
people
to
get
more exercise to
keep
healthy.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Sport today is turning into a business and there are companies involved that sponsor sports with ever growing prize money for the sportsman as a part of their advertising. Some people agree to this because it has a good effect on the world of sports, others however disagree. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts