Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

School should be a place to work towards academic success and passing exams Skills such cooking dressmaking and woodwork would be learned from family and friends Do you agree dis v.1

School should be a place to work towards academic success and passing exams Skills such cooking dressmaking and woodwork would be learned from family and friends Do you agree dis v. 1
In recent years, the question of what subjects should be included in the school curriculum has become a subject of increasing concern. There is an idea that educational institutions should solely focus on academic subjects without training practical skills such as cooking, dressmaking and woodwork which students should learn at their home, and I totally support this idea. Schools should only give students with academic disciplines and help them pass tests. The first reason for this is that the school timetable has been ready full of numbers of subjects like math, literature and chemistry, therefore, it cannot put other lessons into. Secondly, teaching several survival skills including making a meal and clothes requires a variety of expensive and advanced facilities. For example, to set up a cooking course schools have to not only hire many master chefs but also equip many kitchen tools like a microwave. As a result, although these skills are really necessaries with students’ real life, educators cannot teach their pupils due to the lack of resources. It is better if the students’ family can teach their children practical skills. It is apparent that it can reduce considerably educational organizations’ burdens. Since they can invest in more important educated activities, instead of other skills which students can learn at home. In addition, it will be much more effective when parents educate their kids cooking and dressmaking. For example, at their house, each student can be guided directly and careful making a cake their own mother, which could allow them to improve cooking skill more quickly. In conclusion, I completely agree with the opinion that children should only learn formal subjects at school and cultivate survival skills at their home.
In recent years, the question of what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
should
be included
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum has become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
of increasing concern. There is an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that educational institutions should
solely
focus on academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
without training practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such as cooking, dressmaking and woodwork which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should learn at their home, and I
totally
support this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

Schools should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with academic disciplines and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them pass
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
. The
first
reason for this is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
timetable has been ready full of numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like math, literature and chemistry,
therefore
, it cannot put other lessons into.
Secondly
, teaching several survival
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
including making a meal and clothes requires a variety of expensive and advanced facilities.
For example
, to set up a cooking course
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
hire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
master chefs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
equip
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kitchen tools like a microwave.
As a result
, although these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are
really
necessaries with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
real life, educators cannot teach their pupils due to the lack of resources.

It is better if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
family can teach their children practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. It is apparent that it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
considerably
educational organizations’ burdens. Since they can invest in more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
educated activities,
instead
of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can learn at home.
In addition
, it will be much more effective when parents educate their kids cooking and dressmaking.
For example
, at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can
be guided
directly
and careful making a cake their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
mother, which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
cooking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
more
quickly
.

In conclusion
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the opinion that children should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
learn formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and cultivate survival
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
at their home.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay School should be a place to work towards academic success and passing exams Skills such cooking dressmaking and woodwork would be learned from family and friends Do you agree dis v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts