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School children are becoming far too dependent on computers This is having an alarming effect on reading and writing skills Teachers need to avoid using computers in the classroom at all costs and go back to teaching basic study skills Do you agree or d v.2

School children are becoming far too dependent on computers This is having an alarming effect on reading and writing skills Teachers need to avoid using computers in the classroom at all costs and go back to teaching basic study skills Do you agree or d v. 2
Recently, human' s life is attached to the development of technology. It becomes a basic needs of every single person. As a result, people' s daily has changed dramatically since the invention of technology. Computer is a type of the technology. As years gone by, it replaces current tools such as pen, book, paper, and pencil. Computer is used in various places, for instance offices and schools. Computer makes life easier and faster. The advantage of computer is widely suggested as the way to use the time effectively. It happened also in school area where children is taught to be familiar with computer. This effort has purpose to introduce technology which is very important for young generation. Unfortunately, in every advantage, there is other disadvantages. And I stand on this side that computer can be harmful to young generation. In order to establish a high tech generation, children are taught to use the computer all the time. But, computer makes children have a very lack skill in handwriting and reading. It is caused by the using of the computer itself. Children lose their ability on learning ' how to write' because it is replaced by ' how to type' . Moreover, Children tend to forget about the advantages of reading textbook. It is caused by children' s school time has been formulated to understand the computer. I' m convinced that it makes textbook or children' s book become an uninterested thing to learn. The bad impact of the high rate of computer user in school area should be decreased by teachers and all staffs. In my opinion it is a good solution to be back to basic skill for example: explanation in front of the class, discussion, or working group in order to establish the soft skill of young generation in socialize with another people and to learn about writing and reading. But I disagree with totally avoiding the computer because it still needs to keep the managerial of school to work fast and effectively. Overall, I can be summarized that it is not about using the computer. But basically, it' s about how to use this kind of technology properly. I still believe that conventional teaching way is still benefit for children especially in learning about basic matter. Those things are the first competency that should be mastery of our young generation. So it can not be replaced by the technology. No matter how sophisticated it is.
Recently,
Possible spelling mistake found.
human&
#039; s life
is attached
to the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. It becomes a basic needs of every single person.
As a result
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s daily has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
dramatically
since the invention of technology.

Computer is a type of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. As years gone by, it replaces
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
tools such as pen, book, paper, and pencil. Computer is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in various places,
for instance
offices and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. Computer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
life easier and faster. The advantage of computer is
widely
suggested as the way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the time
effectively
. It happened
also
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
area where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "am", "are", "aren".
is
taught to be familiar with computer. This effort has purpose to introduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation. Unfortunately, in every advantage,
Did you mean "there are other disadvantages"?
there is other disadvantages
. And I stand on this side that computer can be harmful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation.

In order to establish a high tech generation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are taught
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the computer all the time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, computer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
lack
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
in handwriting and reading. It
is caused
by the using of the computer itself.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
lose their ability on learning ' how to
Possible spelling mistake found.
write&
#039;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
is replaced
by ' how to
Possible spelling mistake found.
type&
#039;
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
tend to forget about the advantages of reading textbook. It
is caused
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
time has
been formulated
to understand the computer.
Possible spelling mistake found.
I&
#039; m convinced that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
textbook or
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s book become an uninterested thing to learn.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact of the high rate of computer user in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
area should
be decreased
by teachers and all staffs. In my opinion it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
solution to be back to basic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
for example
: explanation in front of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, discussion, or working group in order to establish the soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation in socialize with another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and to learn about writing and reading.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I disagree with
totally
avoiding the computer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
still
needs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
The phrase 'the managerial of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the managerial of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and
effectively
.

Overall
, I can
be summarized
that it is not about using the computer.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
basically
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s about how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
properly
. I
still
believe that conventional teaching way is
still
Consider using a past participle here: "benefited", "benefitted".
benefit
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
especially
in learning about basic matter. Those things are the
first
competency that should be mastery of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it can not
be replaced
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. No matter how sophisticated it is.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes

IELTS essay School children are becoming far too dependent on computers This is having an alarming effect on reading and writing skills Teachers need to avoid using computers in the classroom at all costs and go back to teaching basic study skills Do you agree or d v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
408 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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