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School children are becoming far too dependent on computers This is having an alarming effect on reading and writing skills Teachers need to avoid using computers in the classroom at all costs and go back to teaching basic study skills Do you agree or d v.1

School children are becoming far too dependent on computers This is having an alarming effect on reading and writing skills Teachers need to avoid using computers in the classroom at all costs and go back to teaching basic study skills Do you agree or d v. 1
Family structure plays a vital role to form a society, but from the past few decades, it is noticed that family structures have changed from joint to nuclear family system and this change has its own pros and cones. I believe that the benefits of these changes are less than its drawbacks. The family, being such an intricate and supportive network, is kept quite private to outsiders. Significant precautions are taken to keep all problems, financial matters and gossip away from public knowledge. This is done as a way to protect one’s family honour and avoid the reputation of the family being shamed Men are generally the main source of income in households throughout Pakistan. According to Islamic custom, in the case that both a husband and wife are employed, the woman's income is considered to be rightfully her own and does not necessarily have to be spent on the upkeep of the home. In traditional homes, it is believed to be a man's sole responsibility to provide for his wife, children and any extended family who reside with them or live elsewhere. This will depend on the economic status of the family, but generally across Pakistan, men are expected to earn for the family while women look after the home and general well-being of the family. Some families still practise the seclusion of women (purdah) by which females can only leave the domestic realm when veiled and accompanied by a man. This custom varies significantly between ethnicities and social backgrounds. For example, Balochis in the highlands generally observe purdah while urban middle-class Pakistanis appear to have stopped doing so. In conclusion, the nuclear family system provides privacy for a family, but its members have to pay its price. They have to handle financial and social problems by themselves. On the other hand, members of the joint family system stand by the side of each other in every situation. Therefore, the joint family system outweighs the nuclear family structure.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Family
structure plays a vital role to form a society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
from the past few decades, it
is noticed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
structures have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
from joint to nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pros and cones. I believe that the benefits of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
are less than its drawbacks.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, being such an intricate and supportive network, is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
quite private to outsiders. Significant precautions
are taken
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
all problems, financial matters and gossip away from public knowledge. This
is done
as a way to protect one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
Possible spelling mistake. 'honour' is British English.
honour
and avoid the reputation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
being
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
shamed


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Men
are
generally
the main source of income in households throughout Pakistan. According to Islamic custom, in the case that both a husband and wife
are employed
, the woman's income
is considered
to be
rightfully
her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and does not
necessarily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be spent
on the upkeep of the home. In traditional homes, it
is believed
to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
's sole responsibility to provide for his wife, children and any extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
who reside with them or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
elsewhere. This will depend on the economic status of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
generally
across Pakistan,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to earn for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
while women look after the home and general well-being of the family.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
still
Possible spelling mistake. 'practise' is British English.
practise
the seclusion of women (purdah) by which females can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the domestic realm when veiled and accompanied by a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
. This custom varies
significantly
between ethnicities and social backgrounds.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Balochis
in the highlands
generally
observe purdah while urban middle-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
Pakistanis appear to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.

In conclusion
, the nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
provides privacy for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
its members
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay its price. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
handle financial and social problems by themselves.
On the other hand
, members of the joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
stand by the side of each other in every situation.
Therefore
, the joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
outweighs the nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
structure.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay School children are becoming far too dependent on computers This is having an alarming effect on reading and writing skills Teachers need to avoid using computers in the classroom at all costs and go back to teaching basic study skills Do you agree or d v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
329 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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