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Rising university fees and scarce employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philosophy and history, and only offer practical degree courses that maximise chances of employment. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Rising university fees and scarce employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philosophy and history, and only offer practical degree courses that maximise chances of employment. v. 1
Fees for different courses are different for graduate courses in universities. Due to increasing fees and limited employment opportunities for graduate students some people have an opinion that universities should only teach courses which has demand in the job market and not teach arts subjects like history and philosophy. I do not agree with the opinion of not teaching arts subjects in universities. A university is a place where students get to explore their interests and, also develop an interest in other fields of study while they are studying. However, with universities only teaching courses which have demand for employment, the students will not only take courses which they do not like, but also end up being miserable with jobs in which they are not interested. The field of arts is equally important to other fields making more money in the job market and hence it is equally important to teach arts subjects in universities. Even though, a student with arts degree may not get the highest salary out of the other fields, but still the student will get an opportunity in his field. Lastly, I agree that increasing fees at universities can be a major problem and some students may not afford to pay the fees, but with universities offering scholarships to students and jobs at the university campus, the student will easily manage to pay for their courses. To sum up, increasing fees and limited job opportunities in the field of arts does not make field of arts less important, instead it is equally important to teach all fields of study at the universities as they promote these courses and promote students to pursue the field of their interest, in addition the universities also open up new fields for employment.
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Fees
for
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different
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courses
are
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different
for graduate
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courses
in
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universities
. Due to increasing
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fees
and limited employment opportunities for graduate
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students
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some
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people
have an opinion that
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universities
should
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only
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teach
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courses
which has demand in the
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job
market and not
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teach
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arts
subjects like history and philosophy. I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the opinion of not teaching
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arts
subjects in universities.

A
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university
is a place where
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students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to explore their interests and,
also
develop an interest in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
of study while they are studying.
However
, with
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universities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
teaching
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courses
which have demand for employment, the
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students
will not
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only
take
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courses
which they do not like,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up being miserable with
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jobs
in which they are not interested.

The
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field
of
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arts
is
equally
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important
to other
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fields
making more money in the
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job
market and
hence
it is
equally
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important
to
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teach
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arts
subjects in
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universities
.
Even though
, a
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student
with
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arts
degree may not
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get
the highest salary out of the other
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fields
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
the
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student
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an opportunity in his field.

Lastly
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that increasing
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fees
at
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universities
can be a major problem and
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some
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students
may not afford to pay the
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fees
,
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but
with
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universities
offering scholarships to
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students
and
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jobs
at the
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university
campus, the
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student
will
easily
manage to pay for their courses.

To sum up, increasing
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fees
and limited
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job
opportunities in the
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field
of
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arts
does not
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make
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field
of
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arts
less
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important
,
instead
it is
equally
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important
to
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teach
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
of study at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
as they promote these
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courses
and promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to pursue the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
of their interest,
in addition
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
also
open up new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
for employment.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
59Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Rising university fees and scarce employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philosophy and history, and only offer practical degree courses that maximise chances of employment. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
292 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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