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Rising university fees and scarce employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philsophy and history and only offer practical degree courses that maximise chance of employment to what extent do you agree or disagree? v.5

Rising university fees and scarce employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philsophy and history and only offer practical degree courses that maximise chance of employment v. 5
It is argued by a few people that universities should only focus on practical subject courses, due to limited job opportunities and expensive tertiary education. I partially agree to this statement, which I will explain in following paragraphs. To start with, in this contemporary world, as the population is on the rise, there are fewer places left for graduates. Every sector witness unemployment as there are myriad of candidates applying for a particular position. Thus, studying pragmatic subjects, such as accountancy, management or finance, is proactive step to secure the future. To exemplify, a lot of students are motivated to pursue commerce to make sure they won't be jobless in the future as this sector is on the rise to accommodate ever increasing candidates. In addition, certain degree's like philosophy and history have no relevancy in this technological advanced world. These subjects are reduced to books only, can not be applied to the real world. In contrast, although the pragmatic degree course provides benefits in the near future, arts courses can help in better decision in life. Philosophy renders better analytical skills which help a person to take right steps before commencing. Likewise, history teaches us about our previous generation, such as about work patterns and their modification throughout the decades. Moreover, these subjects improve writing skills to further increase chance of acquiring the job. For example, lots of companies hire people on the bases of their analytical and language ability to communicate better and taking the right decision in given circumstances. To conclude, while practical degree's are relevant to the future requirements, learning arts enhances interpersonal skills. Both subjects are crucial
It
is argued
by a few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that universities should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focus on practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
courses, due to limited job opportunities and expensive tertiary education. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to this statement, which I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, in this contemporary world, as the population is on the rise, there are fewer places
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
for graduates. Every sector witness unemployment as there are myriad of candidates applying for a particular position.
Thus
, studying pragmatic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, such as accountancy, management or finance, is proactive step to secure the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. To exemplify,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
students
are motivated
to pursue commerce to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure they won't be jobless in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
as this sector is on the rise to accommodate
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ever increasing
candidates.
In addition
, certain degree's like philosophy and history have no relevancy in this technological advanced world. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to books
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
, can not
be applied
to the real world.

In contrast
, although the pragmatic degree course provides benefits in the near
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
, arts courses can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in better decision in life. Philosophy renders better analytical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a person to take right steps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
commencing.
Likewise
, history teaches us about our previous generation, such as about work patterns and their modification throughout the decades.
Moreover
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
writing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to
further
increase chance of acquiring the job.
For example
, lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
hire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
on the bases of their analytical and language ability to communicate better and taking the right decision in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
circumstances.

To conclude
, while practical degree's are relevant to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
requirements, learning arts enhances interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
crucial
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Rising university fees and scarce employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philsophy and history and only offer practical degree courses that maximise chance of employment v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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