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Nowadays, celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievement and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.4

In the modern world, things that are charismatic takes the attention of many people, and this is the reason celebrities are gaining popularity. Hence, I believe, that this charm and treasury instead of their attainment and success is badly influencing young generation. People are inspired by the lifestyle of many celebrities. Whatever they post on their social sites related to anything like their travel videos, eating in expensive restaurant, wearing branded cloths inspire them, they like it and try to copy it. As more and more people copy them, it ultimately becomes a trend which helps those celebrities in gaining popularity. On the other hand, if any celebrity receives an award for his achievement he will not be praised in the same. For example, a celebrity sharing his modern and wealthy lifestyle on social media will have more followers and liking than one, who have genuinely made good content and is more successful. Young people are the one being greatly influenced by it. In the age, when they must know the importance of money and understand how people struggle to get success, they are busy in showing off, that they have a better lifestyle than others and can afford expensive cars and cloths. These things do not come automatically in their mind, it is nothing but the influence of their famous personalities and the thought of looking like them. This can develop a sense of insecurity and jealousy among the young generation. In conclusion, Celebrities should not only promote their wealth and living style through any platform. They must share their struggle and suffering behind their success so that, everyone especially young generation will realize that it is their achievement and success because of which they have become popular.
In the modern world, things that are charismatic takes the attention of
many
people
, and this is the reason
celebrities
are gaining popularity.
Hence
, I believe, that this charm and treasury
instead
of their attainment and
success
is
badly
influencing young generation.

People
are inspired
by the lifestyle of
many
celebrities
. Whatever they post on their social sites related to anything like their travel videos, eating in expensive restaurant, wearing branded cloths inspire them, they like it and try to copy it. As more and more
people
copy them, it
ultimately
becomes a trend which
helps
those
celebrities
in gaining popularity.
On the other hand
, if any
celebrity
receives an award for his achievement he will not
be praised
in the same.
For example
, a
celebrity
sharing his modern and wealthy lifestyle on social media will have more followers and liking than one, who have
genuinely
made
good
content and is more successful.

Young
people
are the one being
greatly
influenced by it. In the age, when they
must
know the importance of money and understand how
people
struggle to
get
success
, they are busy in showing off, that they have a better lifestyle than others and can afford expensive cars and cloths. These things do not
come
automatically
in their mind, it is nothing
but
the influence of their
famous
personalities and the
thought
of looking like them. This can develop a sense of insecurity and jealousy among the young generation.

In conclusion
,
Celebrities
should not
only
promote their wealth and living style through any platform. They
must
share their struggle and suffering behind their
success
so
that, everyone
especially
young generation will realize that it is their achievement and
success
because
of which they have become popular.
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IELTS essay Q. Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth rather than for their achievement, and this sets a bad example to young people.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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