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Rising university fees and scarce employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philosophy, and history, and only offer practical degree courses that maximize chances of employment. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Rising university fees and scarce employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philosophy, and history, and only offer practical degree courses that maximize chances of employment. v. 2
With the advancement of technology, people in today's era heading towards the new innovation, which attract more profits and less effort. Rapid increase in university fees and corresponding less opportunities of employment for freshers leading people towards the thought that university should teach and offer only the practical courses which has maximum chances of getting a job rather than the art courses. In my opinion, good planning of art courses can create the opportunities of the employment. First and foremost, reason to support my statement is that the people living in one society should be aware of their nation’s history and surrounding and through art courses, they can have the knowledge about the history like how their country's constitution is formed. For instance, India has a rich history and culture and all this information is present in the curriculum in the form of art courses. With these courses, the next generation can gain the knowledge about the nation. Moreover, Rich historical data attract the tourism and helps to increase the economic growth of the nation. For example, different country has different history. These days people love travelling and explore the new nation. By maintaining the rich historical data one can easily attract tourists and this will boost the economic growth. On the flip side, not maintaining the historical places or data leads to no or less knowledge about the history of the place for the new generation, which further head towards no interest in knowing the history. In addition, removing the course from the curriculum can attract the negativity of the people living in the society. Older generation might feel neglected which can further lead to less tourism. To recapitulate, art courses should be well planned so that they can attract the tourists which leads to economic growth and this will create the employment opportunities for the fresher. Moreover, proper planning will help the generation to maintain the historical data for the next human race.
With the advancement of technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's era heading towards the new innovation, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attract
more profits and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
effort. Rapid increase in university fees and corresponding
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun opportunities is countable.
less
opportunities of employment for freshers leading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
towards the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that university should teach and offer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
which has maximum chances of getting a job
rather
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
. In my opinion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
planning of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
can create the opportunities of the employment.

First
and foremost, reason to support my statement is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in one society should be aware of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and surrounding and through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
, they can have the knowledge about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
like how their country's constitution
is formed
.
For instance
, India has a rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and culture and all this information is present in the curriculum in the form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
. With these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
, the
next
generation can gain the knowledge about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
Moreover
, Rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attract
the tourism and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to increase the economic growth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
country has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. These days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
travelling and explore the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. By maintaining the rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
one can
easily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attract
tourists and this will boost the economic growth.

On the flip side, not maintaining the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
places or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
leads to
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
knowledge about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of the place for the new generation, which
further
head towards no interest in knowing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
.
In addition
, removing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
from the curriculum can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attract
the negativity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in the society. Older generation might feel neglected which can
further
lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
tourism.

To recapitulate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
should be well planned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attract
the tourists which leads to economic growth and this will create the employment opportunities for the fresher.
Moreover
, proper planning will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the generation to maintain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
for the
next
human race.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
45Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Rising university fees and scarce employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philosophy, and history, and only offer practical degree courses that maximize chances of employment. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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