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Research shows that business meetings, discussions and training are happening online nowadays. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.3

Research shows that business meetings, discussions and training are happening online nowadays. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 3
These days, all the commercial meetings and trainings are conducted online. While business-related works are very prompt in online, the drawbacks regarding these are manifold, but I would say that although the shortcomings are a lot, the advantages are more than any disadvantages. First and foremost, people, from the business world, would like to make conversation, meetings, and trainings with business partners in online. However, there are myriads of pitfalls communicating through the internet with the business person. For example, most of the older people are not used to using the technology and software, while other participants discover the fact that they can not, sometimes, connect due to a slow internet connect, platform malfunction. The other drawback is that they can not make face-to-face communication, which is considered the most effective and successful way of business meetings and trainings. Thus, doing business in online is difficult. On the contrary, I have confirmed that if a person makes a business with another business partner by conducting meetings and having a teaching section in online, he/she will be benefited. This is because, it saves time and money. Besides that, attendants do not need to travel a long distance, because they can connect with people sitting any corner of the world. The other advantage is that all the papers and business documents would be verified easily and conveniently among business partners. Therefore, connecting online with the business person has plenty of positive signs. In conclusion, it is very popular that these days, business tycoons are connecting with their business partners through the internet. Despite having plenty of drawbacks, the privilege of communication by having discussion, meeting or training section with business minds in online are many.
These days, all the commercial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trainings
are conducted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. While business-related works are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
prompt in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, the drawbacks regarding these are manifold,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I would say that although the shortcomings are a lot, the advantages are more than any disadvantages.

First
and foremost,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
world, would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
conversation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trainings
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
partners
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
However
, there are myriads of pitfalls communicating through the internet with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
person.
For example
, most of the older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to using the technology and software, while other participants discover the fact that they can not,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, connect due to a slow internet connect, platform malfunction. The other drawback is that they can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
face-to-face communication, which
is considered
the most effective and successful way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trainings
.
Thus
, doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is difficult.

On the contrary
, I have confirmed that if a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
with another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
partner
by conducting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
and having a teaching section in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, he/she will
be benefited
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, it saves time and money.
Besides
that, attendants do not need to travel a long distance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can connect with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
sitting any corner of the world. The other advantage is that all the papers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
documents would
be verified
easily
and
conveniently
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
partners
.
Therefore
, connecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
person has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
signs.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular that these days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
tycoons are connecting with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
partners
through the internet. Despite having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of drawbacks, the privilege of communication by having discussion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
section with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
minds in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
One who speaks only one language is one person, but one who speaks two languages is two people.
Turkish proverb

IELTS essay Research shows that business meetings, discussions and training are happening online nowadays. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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