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Research shows that business meetings, discussions and training are happening online nowadays. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.5

Research shows that business meetings, discussions and training are happening online nowadays. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 5
In this contemporary era, with the advancement in technology, the online business meetings and seminars have gained enormous popularity. Although this has some drawbacks, I concur that the benefits should be paid more attention to. On the one hand, there are some drawbacks when people have business meetings, discussions and studies through the Internet. The most transparent problem is that people, lack of personal contacts. While individuals cannot observe the body languages or facial expressions of their counterparts, they are easily able to misunderstand at some points in online meeting or training session. In addition, the signal of internet devices may be interrupted at any time which cause by unexpected reasons. As a result, it wastes time and energy of people then become an ineffective meetings or trainings. On the other hand, I am convinced that the advantages of virtual meetings are more significant. The first one is that online meetings and online classes help people save virtual time and money consuming, which are absolutely practical. If people want to hold face-to-face meetings, they not only have to spend Time for a long trip, but also struggle with expenditure for the venue and facilities. The second advantage is thanks to the Internet, economic and education of each country can remarkably develop because individuals can contact with each other’s from everywhere in the world. Online meetings can help enterprises cooperate with foreign companies without any obstacles while online classes will be the best choice for people who want to experience oversea education but do not have eligibility for studying abroad. In conclusion, while meetings and studies via the Internet have some certain disadvantages, I agree that people should conduct it for a lot of transparent perks.
In this contemporary era, with the advancement in technology, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
and seminars have gained enormous popularity. Although this has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks, I concur that the benefits should
be paid
more attention to.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
, discussions and studies through the Internet. The most transparent problem is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, lack of personal contacts. While individuals cannot observe the body languages or facial expressions of their counterparts, they are
easily
able to misunderstand at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
points in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
or training session.
In addition
, the signal of internet devices may
be interrupted
at any time which cause by unexpected reasons.
As a result
, it wastes time and energy of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
then become an ineffective
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "meeting"?
meetings
or trainings.

On the other hand
, I
am convinced
that the advantages of virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
are more significant. The
first
one is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
classes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
save virtual time and money consuming, which are
absolutely
practical. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to hold face-to-face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
, they not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
spend


Time for a long trip,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
struggle with expenditure for the venue and facilities. The second advantage is thanks to the Internet, economic and education of each country can
remarkably
develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
individuals can contact with each other’s from everywhere in the world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
enterprises cooperate with foreign
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
without any obstacles while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
classes will be the best choice for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who want to experience oversea education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
do not have eligibility for studying abroad.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
and studies via the Internet have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain disadvantages, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should conduct it for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
transparent perks.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Research shows that business meetings, discussions and training are happening online nowadays. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 5

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
285 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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