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research shows that business meetings and training are happening online nowadays do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. v.1

research shows that business meetings and training are happening online nowadays do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. v. 1
These days it is indicated by a research that employment conferences and training preparations are going online via Internet. This essay will argue that the benefits of online conferences and preparations offset the drawbacks entailed by this state of affairs, as these online trade Meetups can help the employer and employees to save time and cost. This might also be fruitful for the environment. One commonly cited disadvantage of online business meetings and training is that it could affect the social dynamics of both the entrepreneurs and the workers. This is because in person discussion would be missing, which might create misunderstanding in between them. For instance, during face to face meetings one can describe the issues better as the person is able to use body language and gestures which help to understand the message in a better way. Despite this there are a number of significant benefits to having online conferences and trainings. First of all, having an online as to skill training and employment needs would reduce the extra charges spent on expenditures. Because conferences and skill preparations will be happening online so the entrepreneurs would have no need to make extra purchases. For example, to open an educational institute one need to buy a rental space for different cabins which would require a set of PCs, air conditioners, LED bulbs, chairs and so on. Hence, following online work conferences and training can actually help to save a substantial amount of money. Another key benefit is that it would help to save time and contribute to mitigate the global pollution. Because commuting to the office will be lessened so it would reduce traffic on roads. A growing body of research to suggest that Japan is a highly prosperous city where people are more efficient and fighting fit. The reason behind that productivity is their working style which is online system and their healthy environment. In conclusion, although the online system has some drawbacks, it is clear that becoming an online earner and learner can literally be a significant step to move ahead towards an egalitarian society.
These days it
is indicated
by
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
that employment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conferences
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
preparations are going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
via Internet. This essay will argue that the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conferences
and preparations offset the drawbacks entailed by this state of affairs, as these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
trade Meetups can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the employer and employees to save time and cost. This might
also
be fruitful for the environment.

One
commonly
cited disadvantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
business meetings and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
is that it could affect the social dynamics of both the entrepreneurs and the workers. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in person discussion would be missing, which might create misunderstanding in between them.
For instance
, during face to face meetings one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
the issues better as the person is able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
body language and gestures which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to understand the message in a better way.

Despite this there are a number of significant benefits to having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conferences
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trainings
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, having an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
and employment needs would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the extra charges spent on expenditures.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conferences
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
preparations will be happening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the entrepreneurs would have no need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
extra
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
.
For example
, to open an educational institute one need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a rental space for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cabins which would require a set of PCs, air conditioners, LED bulbs, chairs and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Hence
, following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conferences
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
can actually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to save a substantial amount of money.

Another key benefit is that it would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to save time and contribute to mitigate the global pollution.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
commuting to the office will
be lessened
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
traffic on roads. A growing body of research to suggest that Japan is a
highly
prosperous city where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are more efficient and fighting fit. The reason behind that productivity is their working style which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
system and their healthy environment.

In conclusion
, although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
system has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that becoming an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
earner and learner can
literally
be a significant step to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
ahead towards an egalitarian society.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay research shows that business meetings and training are happening online nowadays do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
348 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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