Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Completing university is thought by some to be the best way to get a job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.1

Completing university is thought by some to be the best way to get a job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. v. 1
It is considered by some that being a university graduate is a key to securing a good job, whilst there are others who think that it is better to have experience and soft skills. In my opinion, I believe that having university education is essential for academic jobs, while soft skills and experience are more useful in business. First of all, many think it is easier for people to find a good career if they are university graduates with a good degree. In other words, having a tertiary education puts people one step ahead of others who do not and this can be a deciding factor in getting a good job. The fierce competition to enrol in a university and the increasing number of graduates show just how significant this level of education is for people's future work opportunities. On the other hand, having work training and soft skills, such as leadership and other interpersonal skills, can also throw the balance in favour of the applicant, according to some. For many positions there are an overwhelming number of applicants and, therefor, it is often thought that having relevant experience in that line of industry or having acquired useful soft skills that can be valuable to a company, can put one ahead of the game when applying for a position. Finally, in my opinion, whether needing high level of schooling or skills and experience, depends on the post being applied for. Take for example law, medicine or teaching, it is impossible to be considered for a position without the required educational background. In contrast, for business, it would be more important for a candidate to have soft skills and involvement in the line of business so that they can step into a position without further training and be of immediate benefit to the company. All things considered, getting a good career requires a relevant background either in training or education depending on the type of work and field. People should make sure they attain the necessary skills or degrees before applying for a job in order to be sure of success.
It
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
graduate is a key to securing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, whilst there are others who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is better to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. In my opinion, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is essential for academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
are more useful in business.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is easier for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
career if they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
graduates with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
degree. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
puts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
one step ahead of others who do not and this can be a deciding factor in getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. The fierce competition to enrol in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and the increasing number of graduates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
how significant this level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's future work opportunities.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
work training and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, such as leadership and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
interpersonal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, can
also
throw the balance in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of the applicant, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
positions there are an overwhelming number of applicants and, therefor, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
relevant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
in that line of industry or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
acquired useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
that can be valuable to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, can put one ahead of the game when applying for a position.

Finally
, in my opinion, whether needing high level of schooling or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
, depends on the post
being applied
for. Take
for example
law, medicine or teaching, it is impossible to
be considered
for a position without the required educational background.
In contrast
, for business, it would be more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a candidate to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and involvement in the line of business
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can step into a position without
further
training and be of immediate benefit to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

All things considered, getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
career requires a relevant background either in training or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
depending on the type of work and field.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure they attain the necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
or degrees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
applying for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in order to be sure of success.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Completing university is thought by some to be the best way to get a job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
350 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts