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Research shows that business meetings and training are happening online nowadays. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.3

Research shows that business meetings and training are happening online nowadays. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 3
As the development of computer network, the online meeting, seminar or discussion have sprung up and become popular. The question is that do the benefits of online communication outweigh the drawbacks of itself? This essay will take a close look at both aspects before demonstrating that conferencing online has more conveniences than inconvenience. To start with, using computer networks to hold a online meeting offers a variety of advantages. Firstly, because computer technology can easily to access to the internet that provide the feasible way for the international enterprises to open their international conferences, ignoring the geographical distances and this will help them to minimize their running cost efficiently. Moreover, by opening the online discussions, people do not have to travel a long distance in other to get to the holding places, whereas they can stay in their locations and enjoy the meeting comfortably and the demand of using vehicles will be decreased, which help to keep the level of pollutants down, taking steps to solve the environmental issues. On the other hand, although the online conferencing can be useful, they have several drawbacks. In fact, spending long period of time on the electronic divides can cause serious health issues such as: obesity, depression and eye diseases. Besides that, internet and computer are essential for holding the online conferences but they are unstable, so a bad internet connection will interrupt your discussion immediately. The truth is that, by using the smart divides in the conferences, there are lots of distractions that could lead to the low concentration and negative effects of multitasking. And this is responsible for the poor quality of the discussions. In conclusion, online communication provides a convenient way to communicate as well as to improve the environment. Therefore, Its benefits can overpowering the drawbacks of itself.
As the development of computer network, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
meeting, seminar or discussion have sprung up and become popular. The question is that do the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
communication outweigh the drawbacks of itself? This essay will take a close look at both aspects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
demonstrating that conferencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
has more conveniences than inconvenience.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, using computer networks to hold
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
meeting offers a variety of advantages.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
computer technology can
easily
to access to the internet that provide the feasible way for the international enterprises to open their international conferences, ignoring the geographical distances and this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to minimize their running cost
efficiently
.
Moreover
, by opening the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
discussions,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
travel a long distance in other to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to the holding places, whereas they can stay in their locations and enjoy the meeting
comfortably
and the demand of using vehicles will
be decreased
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the level of pollutants down, taking steps to solve the environmental issues.

On the other hand
, although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
conferencing can be useful, they have several drawbacks. In fact, spending long period of time on the electronic divides can cause serious health issues such as: obesity, depression and eye diseases.
Besides
that, internet and computer are essential for holding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
conferences
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are unstable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
internet connection will interrupt your discussion immediately. The truth is that, by using the smart divides in the conferences, there are lots of distractions that could lead to the low concentration and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of multitasking. And this is responsible for the poor quality of the discussions.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
communication provides a convenient way to communicate
as well
as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the environment.
Therefore
, Its benefits can overpowering the drawbacks of itself.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Research shows that business meetings and training are happening online nowadays. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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