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Some people say that protecting the environment is the government’s responsibility. Others believe that every individual should be responsible for it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.14

Some people say that protecting the environment is the government’s responsibility. Others believe that every individual should be responsible for it. v. 14
A few people consider that the preservation of nature is the authority responsibility, but others contradicted that and it is a duty of the people. In my opinion, protecting the climate is should be a priority for both the citizens and the government. Firstly, the ministry accountable for the citizens, if they make an advertisement in all media means they will be a huge knowledge for the extended importance of the climate among all standards of people; the poor and the rich. As a result, the ancestors have the awareness of how the habitat is significant. Although there are some people in contrast with nature it is not this extend of crucial. For example, the US in 1985 the government announced that they made a rough punishment for those part who didn't follow the rule of conserving the climate. Secondly, the ancestors can rescue the landscape and advise their neighborhood about how dangerous and hideous it will be if there is not sufficient attention. Furthermore, they can support a suitable behavior for the world that they avoid throwaway the material after they used it and try to recycle it. Therefore, they get to benefit from ancient goods. For instance, China in 1983 has to establish a factory for recycling aged products. Consequently, the citizens put a decrepitated output in an appropriate area. In conclusion, not the only authority that making low for conserving the surrounding area but also it is the community trust. However, the climate is essential. I do agree, that the liability of the statue is the shoulder for both the society and the government.
A few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider that the preservation of nature is the authority responsibility,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others contradicted that and it is a duty of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In my opinion, protecting the climate
Did you mean "it"?
is
should be a priority for both the citizens and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

Firstly
, the ministry accountable for the citizens, if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an advertisement in all media means they will be
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "huge knowledge".
a huge knowledge
for the extended importance of the climate among all standards of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
; the poor and the rich.
As a result
, the ancestors have the awareness of how the habitat is significant.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in contrast
with nature it is not
The verb 'extend' is plural. Did you mean: "this extends"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this extend
of crucial.
For example
, the US in 1985 the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
announced that they made a rough punishment for those part who didn't follow the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
of conserving the climate.

Secondly
, the ancestors can rescue the landscape and advise their neighborhood about how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and hideous it will be if there is not sufficient attention.
Furthermore
, they can support a suitable behavior for the world that they avoid throwaway the material after they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
it and try to recycle it.
Therefore
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to benefit from ancient
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
For instance
, China in 1983
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
establish a factory for recycling aged products.
Consequently
, the citizens put a
Possible spelling mistake found.
decrepitated
output in an appropriate area.

In conclusion
, not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
authority that making low for conserving the surrounding area
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it is the community trust.
However
, the climate is essential. I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
, that the liability of the
Possibly confused word: Did you mean "statute" (= a sculpture; a carved or shaped imitation of an object) instead of 'statue' (= a formal written enactment of a legislative authority)?
statue
is the shoulder for both the society and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Some people say that protecting the environment is the government’s responsibility. Others believe that every individual should be responsible for it. v. 14

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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