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Research shows business meetings and business trainings are done online. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

Research shows business meetings and business trainings are done online. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
Although in the past, most of the work meeting was in the special space and all members should participate there, nowadays by coming technologies in our life, part of these meetings can do online. In this essay we talk about the advantages and disadvantages of online meeting and business trainings. One advantage of this argues, is for saving time. In other hand, if you can participate in online meeting or field training you can save a lot of time before or after the meeting. For example, if we have a meeting at 10 am in the office, we should spend a huge moment in the morning traffic. After long time that we are so tired we should go to the meeting. Consequently, we don't have maximum creativity. So, for saving time, online meeting is the best option that business manager can make a plan for that. Second benefit is related to participate of 90% of members there. It is common that all members can't available on exact the same time for arriving in session. Because they don't know what happen on the way. It depends on traffic etc. But they can use their phone and participate in online meeting from anywhere. For example, in the train. However, some people think that online meeting it's not effective. They said that during the meeting it happens that we need signatures or take something like paper or document from your friend. This person disagrees with online meeting because something in this session are not achievable. In conclusion, saving time and participate from anywhere in business meeting is the most advantage of online meetings. Finally, I agree with this view. I believe we live in a modern world and it's so important for us that using all technology and save our time and spent that for catching the other our aims.
Although in the past, most of the work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
was in the special space and all members should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participate
there, nowadays by coming technologies in our life, part of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
can do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. In this essay we talk about the advantages and disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
and business trainings.

One advantage of this argues, is for saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. In other hand, if you can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participate
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
or field training you can save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
or after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
.
For example
, if we have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
at 10 am in the office, we should spend a huge moment in the morning traffic.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that we are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
tired we should go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
.
Consequently
, we don't have maximum creativity.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, for saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
is the best option that business manager can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a plan for that.

Second benefit
is related
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participate
of 90% of members there. It is common that all members can't available on exact the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for arriving in session.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
they don't know what happen on the way. It depends on traffic etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their phone and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participate
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
from anywhere.
For example
, in the train.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
it's not effective. They said that during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
it happens that we need signatures or take something like paper or document from your friend. This person disagrees with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
something in this session are not achievable.

In conclusion
, saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participate
from anywhere in business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
is the most advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
.
Finally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view. I believe we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a modern world and it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for us that using all technology and save our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and spent that for catching the other our aims.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Research shows business meetings and business trainings are done online. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
307 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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