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Nowadays more and more business meetings and business trainings are taking place online. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v.2

Nowadays more and more business meetings and business trainings are taking place online. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2
Nowadays taking a year out to live or study is becoming increasingly popular. For many people, especially young adults, the chance to spend an extended period of time overseas is an attractive one. However, there are both pros and cons to decide to do this. In this essay, I will discuss some of the reasons why moving abroad is so popular and some of the challenges to be overcome. Let’s begin by looking at the advantages of moving away. One of the main positive heading overseas is that it broadens your horizons. What I mean by this is that you have the chance to meet people from different cultural backgrounds and learn to cope with customs and food. This can make you more rounded as a person. Secondly, moving abroad can lead to a better quality of life. Take a British people for example. Thousands of people from the UK move to Spain and Australia every year. These countries have warmer climates and encourage a better work -life balance. In addition, by living overseas, you can gain qualifications and language skills, which may improve promotion prospects on your return. Turning to the other side of the argument, culture shock is a major problem. Many people who take a year out find it hard to cope with the language barrier, the food and general cultural differences. This often leads to homesickness and in some cases a sense of isolation. Another issue is that it can be difficult to start a new life from scratch. In other words, when you move abroad, you have to make new friends and find your place in the community. This process takes time and can be especially challenging if there is also a language barrier. Personally, I believe the benefits in terms of personal growth eventually outweigh any negatives.
Nowadays taking a year out to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
or study is becoming
increasingly
popular. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
young adults, the chance to spend an extended period of time overseas is an attractive one.
However
, there are both pros and cons to decide to do this. In this essay, I will discuss
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
reasons why moving abroad is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
popular and
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
challenges to
be overcome
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
by looking at the advantages of moving away. One of the main
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
heading overseas is that it broadens your horizons. What I mean by this is that you have the chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultural backgrounds and learn to cope with customs and food. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you more rounded as a person.

Secondly
, moving abroad can lead to a better quality of life. Take a British
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for example
. Thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the UK
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to Spain and Australia every year. These countries have warmer climates and encourage a better work -life balance.
In addition
, by living overseas, you can gain qualifications and language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, which may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
promotion prospects on your return.

Turning to the other side of the argument, culture shock is a major problem.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who take a year out find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to cope with the language barrier, the food and general cultural differences. This
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
leads to homesickness and in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases a sense of isolation.

Another issue is that it can be difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a new life from scratch.
In other words
, when you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
abroad, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends and find your place in the community. This process takes time and can be
especially
challenging if there is
also
a language barrier.
Personally
, I believe the benefits in terms of personal growth
eventually
outweigh any negatives.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays more and more business meetings and business trainings are taking place online. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
303 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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