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Research center is going to be established in a university. There is an argument whether to establish an agricultural center or a business one. which one do you choose? why? v.1

Research center is going to be established in a university. There is an argument whether to establish an agricultural center or a business one. which one do you choose? why? v. 1
There is a rising trend among parents to pressurise their kids to be successful in life. The main reasons for this include the ever increasing competition and over ambitious attitude of the family. In my opinion, I believe that its a negative step and this will have adverse consequences. These days students are kept under enormous pressure from their parents to have success ahead because of the enhancing competitive world and over enthusiastic approach. On the one hand, the people are becoming perfectionist and all this is leading to an increase in the desire to be on the top. While, on the other hand, the guardians are becoming so much overwhelming that their desire for the child to be the best, has grown enormously. Finally, both of these factors compel the elders to keep their siblings under the undue harsh atmosphere of unknown anxiety. The same fact has been pointed out in the British Journal of Psychiatry, where the author says that a student in the UK is under stressful conditions mostly because of caretaker's pressures. The practice of parents to keep their children under stressful conditions for progression has many adverse outcomes. These include disobedience, lack of interest and mental disorders. Ultimately, the kids stop doing hard work and become carefree. So, all the efforts put in by fathers and mothers will be ruined and the pupil instead of achieving top positions flew away from the right path and his future becomes gloomy. For example, the current system of education, being followed in Finland, has included these facts and figures to rectify the mistakes done in the past. To conclude, the negative effect of unwanted stresses on a young one must be abolished, so that the productivity of a nation can be enhanced.
There is a rising trend among parents to
pressurise
their kids to be successful in life. The main reasons for this include the
ever increasing
competition and over ambitious attitude of the family. In my opinion, I believe that
its
a
negative
step and this will have adverse consequences.

These days students are
kept
under enormous pressure from their parents to have success ahead
because
of the enhancing competitive world and over enthusiastic approach. On the one hand, the
people
are becoming perfectionist and all this is leading to an increase in the desire to be on the top. While,
on the other hand
, the guardians are becoming
so
much overwhelming that their desire for the child to be the best, has grown
enormously
.
Finally
, both of these factors compel the elders to
keep
their siblings under the undue harsh atmosphere of unknown anxiety. The same fact has
been pointed
out in the British Journal of Psychiatry, where the author says that a student in the UK is under stressful conditions
mostly
because
of caretaker's pressures.

The practice of parents to
keep
their children under stressful conditions for progression has
many
adverse outcomes. These include disobedience, lack of interest and mental disorders.
Ultimately
, the kids
stop
doing
hard
work and become carefree.
So
, all the efforts put in by fathers and mothers will
be ruined
and the pupil
instead
of achieving top positions flew away from the right path and his future becomes gloomy.
For example
, the
current
system of education,
being followed
in Finland, has included these facts and figures to rectify the mistakes done in the past.

To conclude
, the
negative
effect of unwanted
stresses
on a young one
must
be abolished
,
so
that the productivity of a nation can
be enhanced
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Research center is going to be established in a university. There is an argument whether to establish an agricultural center or a business one. which one do you choose? why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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