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A university plan to develop a new research center in your country. Some people want a center for business research. Other people want a center for research in agriculture. Which one do you recommend? v.1

A university plan to develop a new research center in your country. Some people want a center for business research. Other people want a center for research in agriculture. Which one do you recommend? v. 1
It is believed by professionals that elderly persons were a lot more cheerful and physically fit in the previous years. This was because of the facts that they done more activities and were highly socializing with relatives. However, it can be seen that these days they are complaining about isolation and well-being issues. In the next paragraphs, I will discuss the reasons and what can be done to prevent it in the future. To begin, the most common cause can be the technological developments in the previous decades. The reason for this is that more and more people are spending their spare time on their phones instead of paying attention to their family. The socialization had been decreased, which caused the loneliness and health issues in the adults. For example, youngsters are providing more hours on the social media rather than with their parents. So, that's why the mental problems doubled up with the invention of mobile phones, On the second hand, we as teenagers should realize that it is important to give attention to our loved ones. This is because those special moments won't come back and we will regret it in the future. Although, it was late to change the circumstances in the past. For example, being rude and ignorant to your mother and father, can affect our emotions and it also puts down the atmosphere at home. So, making changes on time is really advisable to stay happy. To conclude, the evolution in electrical devices has decreased the relationship with our family members and friends. However, to make some changes, we can provide some time to spend with them instead of being on the phone because those moments won't come back into life.
It
is believed
by professionals that elderly persons were a lot more cheerful and
physically
fit in the previous years. This was
because
of the facts that they done more activities and were
highly
socializing with relatives.
However
, it can be
seen
that these days they are complaining about isolation and well-being issues. In the
next
paragraphs, I will discuss the reasons and what can
be done
to
prevent
it in the future.

To
begin
, the most common cause can be the technological developments in the previous decades.
The reason for this is
that more and more
people
are spending their spare time on their phones
instead
of paying attention to their family. The socialization had
been decreased
, which caused the loneliness and health issues in the adults.
For example
, youngsters are providing more hours on the social media
rather
than with their parents.
So
, that's why the mental problems doubled up with the invention of mobile phones,

On the second hand, we as
teenagers
should realize that it is
important
to give attention to our
loved
ones. This is
because
those special moments won't
come
back and
we will regret it in the future.
Although
, it was late to
change
the circumstances in the past.
For example
, being rude and ignorant to your mother and father, can affect our emotions and it
also
puts down the atmosphere at home.
So
, making
changes
on time is
really
advisable to stay happy.

To conclude
, the evolution in electrical devices has decreased the relationship with our family members and friends.
However
, to
make
some
changes
, we can provide
some
time to spend with them
instead
of being on the phone
because
those moments won't
come
back into life.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay A university plan to develop a new research center in your country. Some people want a center for business research. Other people want a center for research in agriculture. Which one do you recommend? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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