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A university plan to develop a new research center in your country. Some people want a center for business research. Other people want a center for research in agriculture. Which one do you recommend? v.2

A university plan to develop a new research center in your country. Some people want a center for business research. Other people want a center for research in agriculture. Which one do you recommend? v. 2
A university is an academic center the main responsibility of which is to prepare students for having both a successful professional and personal life. In fact, university form a fundamental part of a person' s education and make students decide their path. Some people are inclined toward the opinion that university should expend and improve its activities in business. Others, on the other hand, take a radically different point of view and allege that it' s better for university to spend time in developing agriculture researches. Agreement is yet to be reached on this issue; however, to the extent that my personal perspective is concerned, it is established beyond doubt that human beings need organic and healthy foods in order to lead a healthy lifestyle. In the following paragraph, I will pinpoint the most outstanding reasons. One compelling reason, lending credence to the stance taken above is that agriculture is responsible for providing the community with food and supporting some industries. For my country, there is no persistent conflict in providing food. Indeed, no conflicts exist regarding the necessary water supply. Scientifically speaking, researches in agriculture will produce new generations of crops that consume less water, produce more nourishment, resist diseases or require fewer pesticides. Delving further into the issue reveal that we must provide new jobs to increase the income of families and supply them with adequate fund that will motivate the economy wheel. This attitude will result in more purchases and the necessity for increasing agricultural production will arise. A noteworthy refreshingly intelligible statistic revealed by recent social research conducted in our country show that research in agriculture provide fertile ground for the country to produce more nourishing foods and in case of economic it will recover the country from recession. Another reason that is equally important if not more is that the more research in agriculture, the more land for farming. Broadly speaking, as humans living in civilized society, we all need a well-paid job in order to flourish in our everyday lives. This concept has played a dominant role in individuals' way of living throughout history. In fact, research in agriculture will provide many jobs opportunity in every society. To put it in other word, not only can agriculture be beneficial for people in case of careers and health but also can patronize country in cycle of economy. Indeed, agriculture can contribute greatly to the progress of country. However, what I alluded to above cannot be overgeneralized to all contexts. Alongside with the innumerable benefits it has, indisputably, business research center are really rare and the expansion of business research center will help majorities of students to continue their education and reach their pinnacle of their life. Nevertheless, it does not make those preceding benefits pale. To wrap it up, widespread research in agriculture or in business has its own merits and drawbacks. Contemplating all the aforementioned reason one soon realize that more research in agriculture will resulted in more organic production that people can take advantage of those products. In addition, research in agriculture will provide an opportunity for people to find a decent job, which indirectly help the economic recession.
A
university
is an academic center the main responsibility of which is to prepare students for having both a successful professional and personal life. In fact,
university
form a fundamental part of a
person&
#039; s education and
make
students decide their path.
Some
people
are inclined
toward the opinion that
university
should expend and
improve
its activities in
business
. Others,
on the other hand
, take a
radically
different
point of view and allege that
it&
#039; s better for
university
to spend time in developing
agriculture
researches
. Agreement is
yet
to
be reached
on this issue;
however
, to the extent that my personal perspective
is concerned
, it
is established
beyond doubt that human beings need organic and healthy
foods
in order to lead a healthy lifestyle. In the following paragraph, I will pinpoint the most outstanding reasons.

One compelling reason, lending credence to the stance taken above is that
agriculture
is responsible for providing the community with
food
and supporting
some
industries. For my
country
, there is no persistent conflict in providing
food
.
Indeed
, no conflicts exist regarding the necessary water supply.
Scientifically
speaking,
researches
in
agriculture
will produce new generations of crops that consume less water, produce more nourishment, resist diseases or require fewer pesticides. Delving
further
into the issue reveal that we
must
provide
new
jobs
to increase the income of families and supply them with adequate fund that will motivate the economy wheel. This attitude will result in more
purchases
and the necessity for increasing agricultural production will arise. A noteworthy
refreshingly
intelligible statistic revealed by recent social
research
conducted in our
country
show
that
research
in
agriculture
provide
fertile ground for the
country
to produce more nourishing
foods
and in case of economic it will recover the
country
from recession.

Another reason
that is
equally
important
if not more is that the more
research
in
agriculture
, the more land for farming.
Broadly
speaking, as humans living in civilized society, we all need a well-paid
job
in order to flourish in our everyday
lives
. This concept has played a dominant role in
individuals&
#039; way of living throughout history. In fact,
research
in
agriculture
will
provide
many
jobs
opportunity in every society. To put it in other word, not
only
can
agriculture
be beneficial for
people
in case of careers and health
but
also
can patronize
country
in cycle of economy.
Indeed
,
agriculture
can contribute
greatly
to the progress of
country
.
However
, what I alluded to above cannot
be overgeneralized
to all contexts. Alongside with the innumerable benefits it has,
indisputably
,
business
research
center are
really
rare and the expansion of
business
research
center will
help
majorities of students to continue their education and reach their pinnacle of their life.
Nevertheless
, it does not
make
those preceding benefits pale.

To wrap it up, widespread
research
in
agriculture
or in
business
has its
own
merits and drawbacks. Contemplating all the aforementioned reason one
soon
realize that more
research
in
agriculture
will
resulted
in more organic production that
people
can take advantage of those products.
In addition
,
research
in
agriculture
will
provide
an opportunity for
people
to find a decent
job
, which
indirectly
help
the economic recession.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
52Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay A university plan to develop a new research center in your country. Some people want a center for business research. Other people want a center for research in agriculture. Which one do you recommend? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
526 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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