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Research are essential for developing new medicines and treatment to get better health and less disease. Who individual, private companies or government should fund these researches v.1

Research are essential for developing new medicines and treatment to get better health and less disease. Who individual, private companies or government should fund these researches v. 1
Day by day most of the mammals are putting at risk like they are losing their freedom and some are jeopardised to some extent because of logging, the evolution of cities and unlawful stalking. I think it is essential to secure our creatures to keep our surrounding atmosphere will be safe. To do this, we have to save forests, develop the country side areas and stop the chasing flock. Firstly, it's very necessary to defend animals to save our nation cause for country development, we have to attract foreigners and foreign investors due to that tourism has to grow. To improve tourism, mammals are also will play key role. For Example, if our homeland has magnificent zoos having a variety of beasts, aliens will try to establish their companies in surrounding regions. Secondly, to preserve these brutes, the people in the whole country have to do some workout, that means everyone has to stop the erosion of the forests. For Instance, By developing the forests, more animals will be alive and survive and they won't enter into the public. So, the regime has to put strict rules or has to change the amendments to give the serious punishment to the public those are killing the mammals illegally and for the progress of the metropolitans. In Conclusion, every creature in this world is very important to us and for future generations also. But it is not possible with only one person to save animals. It is the responsibility of every person in this world. So, we altogether have to come forward and save our mammals.
Day by day most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mammals
are putting at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
like they are losing their freedom and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are
Possible spelling mistake. 'jeopardised' is British English.
jeopardised
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of logging, the evolution of cities and unlawful stalking. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is essential to secure our creatures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our surrounding atmosphere will be safe. To do this, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
forests, develop the country side areas and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the chasing flock.

Firstly
, it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
necessary to defend animals to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
our nation cause for country development, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
attract foreigners and foreign investors due to that tourism
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
grow. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
tourism,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mammals
are
also
will play key role.
For Example
, if our homeland has magnificent zoos having a variety of beasts, aliens will try to establish their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in surrounding regions.

Secondly
, to preserve these brutes, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the whole country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
workout, that means everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the erosion of the forests.
For Instance
, By developing the forests, more animals will be alive and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
survive and
they won't enter into the public.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the regime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
put strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the amendments to give the serious punishment to the public those are killing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mammals
illegally
and for the progress of the metropolitans.

In Conclusion
, every creature in this world is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to us and for future generations
also
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it is not possible with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one person to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
animals. It is the responsibility of every person in this world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we altogether
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forward and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mammals
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Research are essential for developing new medicines and treatment to get better health and less disease. Who individual, private companies or government should fund these researches v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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