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Research are essential for developing new medicines and treatment to get better health and less disease. Who individual, private companies or government should fund these researches v.2

Research are essential for developing new medicines and treatment to get better health and less disease. Who individual, private companies or government should fund these researches v. 2
In this contemporay epoch, every sector of life is revolutionsed, while some still needs advancement. And, research is one of them, which is imperative to promote healthy life and keep numerous ailments away. However, now ouestion arise, either authorities or private organization should fund these researchs. Here, I believe funding by private companies can be really beneficial. Admittedly, individuals funding and controlling researchs can have several merits. To commence with, these researchs require investment of immense capital, while private sectors can bare huge expenses. Consequently, it will ease pressure on nation and money saved can used for other developments such as infrastructure, defence and education. To illustrate, less affulent countries will not have to depend on generosity of other nations for any research for any medical purpose. Thus, under-developed countries will have on effect on economical conditions. Hence, if private sections will fund researches country will remain financially sound. Moving further, not only it will help financially but also risk of stoping risk due to money or any other trouble like droughts or other natural calamities will be reduced. For instance, during any emergency, when law-makers will be out of power then private researchers will still be working and can prevent any epidemic disease. What is more, private companies can omitt possibility of delay in research due to funds problem. At last, only one demerit of this trend is that private organisation can be money minded and launch any product with high market value. Deducing, if this disadvantage can be overcome that absolutely it will be boon for mankind. In conclusion, as I aforementioned this phenomenon can help to make country financially sound and elevate speed of development in scientfic research. So, private industries should fund these researchs.
In this
Possible spelling mistake found.
contemporay
epoch, every sector of life is
Possible spelling mistake found.
revolutionsed
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
still
needs advancement. And,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
is one of them, which is imperative to promote healthy life and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
numerous ailments away.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
Possible spelling mistake found.
ouestion
arise, either authorities or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
organization should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fund
these
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "researches", the plural form of the noun 'research'?
researchs
. Here, I believe funding by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can be
really
beneficial.

Admittedly
, individuals funding and controlling
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "researches", the plural form of the noun 'research'?
researchs can
have several merits. To commence with, these
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "researches", the plural form of the noun 'research'?
researchs
require investment of immense capital, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
sectors can
This form is ambiguous and can be used as past tense. Confirm that you are using the intended base form of the main verb after 'to do' as an auxiliary verb..
bare
huge expenses.
Consequently
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
pressure on nation and money saved can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
developments such as infrastructure,
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
and education. To illustrate, less
Possible spelling mistake found.
affulent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
depend on generosity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
for any medical purpose.
Thus
, under-developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will have on effect on
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
conditions.
Hence
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
sections will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fund
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will remain
financially
sound.

Moving
further
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
financially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
stoping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
due to money or any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
trouble like droughts or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
natural calamities will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.
For instance
, during any emergency, when law-makers will be out of power then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
researchers will
still
be working and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
any epidemic disease.
What is more
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can
Possible spelling mistake found.
omitt
possibility of delay in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
due to funds problem. At last,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one demerit of this trend is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organisation' and 'organization') within a single text.
organisation
can be money minded and launch any product with high market value. Deducing, if this disadvantage can
be overcome
that
absolutely
it will be boon for mankind.

In conclusion
, as I aforementioned this phenomenon can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
financially
sound and elevate speed of development in
Possible spelling mistake found.
scientfic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "industries".
private industries
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fund
these
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "researches", the plural form of the noun 'research'?
researchs
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Mistakes

IELTS essay Research are essential for developing new medicines and treatment to get better health and less disease. Who individual, private companies or government should fund these researches v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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